Michael O'Blogger

Michaelocomedy.com - LIVE.

2010-02-24T23:23:00.001-08:00

Just a heads-up to you Michael O'Blogger fans that have been following the news on my quest for the comedy lifestyle. You're not going to get a lot more of that here, since that news has been shifted to a different blog.

Michaelocomedy.com is my new site for my comedy stuff. Eventually, it'll be a full-blown web page (that makes it sound dirty, but that's now how I meant it...), but for now, it's just a blog, like this one. It'll have the updates on everything going on with my comedy stuff, where I'll be performing next, and it has handy links to other stuff, like to my new Michael O'Connell Comedy Facebook fan page (over 100 fans so far, bee-yatch! Yeeeeah!). So why not head over there and take yourself a look, hmmm?

I'll still be blogging here with other stuff, of course, so don't take this one off your list either. And, as I always promise, I'll try to get more regular with the blogging. And chances of that increase with two blogs to fill. Right?

Garfield Ave RepreSENT!

2010-02-24T23:05:00.000-08:00

So I was just downtown, finishing up catching a night of comedy at Luna's Cafe, and I made the following joke on my Twitter:

"Hanging on the sidewalks of downtown Sacramento, just BEGGING to get mugged. Typing on this phone is probably not helping."

'Cause, you know, I'm from the suburbs. And we fear downtown. We're convinced it's a constant hotbed of crime and malfeasance, that every time we park, our stereo's going to get stolen, and that we're liable to get stabbed if we're within 50 feet or so of a Lightrail station.

So after I survived my few minutes of hanging on the sidewalk, finishing up a cigar and a conversation with a couple of comedians, I got in my van and headed home, back to my nice, safe, quiet suburban hood. Mi gringo barrio.

I was headed east down Madison, almost to my intersection, when a sheriff's car, lights-a-flashy, went booking past me. Okay, then. I pulled over for a sec like everyone else. I just started to go again when another one whipped out from a side street and followed the first one.

Just as I got within eyesight of the Garfield Avenue intersection, I saw them go through the light. And then I saw another flashing sheriff's car shoot through the same intersection, going north on Garfield. Then, right after that? ANOTHER one speeding by, but this one going SOUTH on Garfield.

First thing I thought was, "Wouldn't it be awesome if they all blew the same light and just ran into each other?"

Second thing was, "What, do they not KNOW where the crime is happening? Did someone call on a cell phone and say, 'Help, I'm being robbed! I'm somewhere in the suburbs! Come find me!'?"

Then as I pulled into my complex and got parked, I started coming down my wheelchair lift, and overhead, a police helicopter with its spotlight going buzzed by.

So I guess the point I'm getting to here is...does anyone know of any decent, affordable housing available right now in the downtown area?

You know, where it's safe?

Tommy T's Open Mic Finals - Round 1 Begins!

2010-02-16T01:55:00.001-08:00

Some of you may have heard that I ended up in the open mic comedy finals at Tommy T's Comedy & Dinner Theater. By some of you, I mean anyone who's read this blog.

Well, tonight, it all began. All the details just got worked out, the names all got drawn, and round 1 of the finals began tonight. No, I was not in it. There are 18 comics involved, and round 1 is spread over three evenings, with six comics competing against each other each night (with a week between nights). In the drawing, I ended up on night three, which means I'll be up on stage competing on Monday, March 1st! Which is awesome because that gives me a couple weeks more than I thought I had to prepare. Whew!

But tonight, I had to show up to watch and support my fellow comedy peeps! So I headed out to Tommy T's. I just said there were six comedians each night, right? Well, tonight ended up with five. Oddly enough, the sixth guy (Aaron something-or-other) whom I'd never heard of before (I assume he won a competition before I became a regular there) apparently fell out of contact. They just could never reach him. So the competition was down to five, and they just happened to be five of my favorite local comedians, people I've been on stage with before, hung out with, and marveled at for their comedic prowess. So those lucky folks who showed up to watch were in for a big treat.

The comedians competing were Aaron Shine (he of the masturbating and stuffed animals), Willie Mac (the OTHER cable guy), Jennifer Rutherford (the showerhead queen), Ty Anderson (who fakes African accents at McDonald's) and Jason Tate (the big, muscular guy whose dog is a dirty, dirty whore). I got there early to talk to each of them and wish them luck. Great atmosphere in there, full of anticipation and excitement. I also got to talk to the painfully funny Boogee Quinn, another regular there (who I gave a joke to backstage once that he used, so that made me like him even more), who let me know he's slated for night #2. This made me feel much better, because competing against Boogee is not something you want to do if winning is, like, a big thing to you. I'll just have to deal with him in the finals. Optimism! Also chatted with Lou, the manager, and he finally got my headshot that he needed so he can post me up on their website, so that'll be coming soon when the night #3 details go up.

Went alone tonight, as Vlado's out of town and everyone else was busy, and that was just fine with me. Got me some chicken tenders and a Guinn and kicked back to cheer for the whole gang. Everyone stepped it up on stage...instead of the usual 5-minute sets we all do at open mics around town, the first round is 10-minute sets, so everyone had some new stuff. Great jobs by all. But much as I don't want to choose someone out of that list as doing the best? Ty Anderson blew my mind. Ty's a guy who started off, when I first saw him perform, not quite so strong. But Ty never gave up...he kept coming back, kept learning, and he got noticeably better week after week, until he finally won an open mic, putting him in the finals. Ty clearly KNEW he was in the finals and wasn't going to mess around. That man did things on stage I'd never seen him do. He was doing voices. He was doing physical comedy (including a perfectly executed on-stage ninja roll). He was messing with the audience, and the audience was loving it. He was more confident than I've ever seen him. He was loud. He was funny. He OWNED it. Couldn't be happier for that guy!

But, sadly, only three could advance amongst this whole awesome group. At the end, Lou got them all back up on stage and started with the audience voting. This took a while, because it was ridiculously close. There were several re-votes. In the end, the lucky winners were Willie, Jennifer and Ty. They're now going on to round 2, and it couldn't have happened to three better comics. Damned proud of all of them. For now. I, of course, will be forced to destroy them all later...

After this, the after-party was up at Po' Boyz in Folsom, where the regular Monday night open mic was going on. Some people went right up after their wins and did a new set here (like Willie and Jason). Jennifer, Ty and Aaron just wanted to hang and socialize. I wasn't feeling it for going up, as I had my head in the spectator place tonight, so I didn't do a set. Instead, I hung out on the patio and had a cigar and rapped with comics (always the best part of the comedian lifestyle). Oh, and speaking of Willie...he runs a comedy night up at Cafe Nostro in El Dorado Hills, which is booked a couple months out it's so popular. He came up tonight and asked me if I wanted to come up there and do a twenty minute set. Uh, you THINK? So that'll be sometime in April. I'll let you know.

My favorite part of the night, though? After all the other comedians started going in, there was this young guy still out on the patio, smoking. He started talking to me. Great kid. I eventually asked if he was a comic, and he said no, but he's really been thinking about it (which is why he showed up at Po' Boyz tonight, to see what it's about), but had no idea how to get started. And the weirdest thing happened. I became a mentor. I started telling him how the whole thing works, what the Sacramento circuit's like, the best places to go, the important people to know... Did this for over a half hour and totally filled him with info and got him psyched to finally get up and give it a try. In the middle of this, it occurred to me...I've been doing this for not even six weeks yet - and yet here I am talking like a vet. While on the one hand it seemed silly (because I still know so little, really), on the other, I marveled at just how far I've come, how much I've done with this, and how much of learned in so little time. All of a sudden, I'm actually, like...a comedian. What do you know? So here, again, I must give thanks to comic buddy #1 Vlado for calling me up and saying, "Screw it...let's just do it" and getting me started in all this. I'm having the time of my life, and it's all because of the Fist Officer. Thanks, man.

So, again...MARK YOUR CALENDARS. That is MARCH 1ST (Monday) at Tommy T's in Rancho Cordova. I will be doing 10 minutes with all my comedic might, trying to step up to the semifinals. As it's audience voting, I of course would be dumb to not invite as many of my peeps as possible. So as this gets closer, keep in contact with me, and watch this blog. Next week, when I show up to watch night #2 (go Boogee go! No, wait...that's bad for me. Choke Boogee choke!), Lou's going to be handing me a bunch of tickets to hand out to folks. So chances are your name might be on one of them. Would love, love to see you there, but more importantly, I'd love to get as big a crowd there as possible for the benefit of the other comedians who'll be sweating it out with me. A big crowd is good for everyone, and I want to share. So prepare yourself for a great night of local comedy, and a pivotal night in my burgeoning comedy career.

Lest ye be square? Be there!

Comedy takes a sick day

2010-02-02T19:08:00.001-08:00

Oops! Scratch that notice from yesterday that said Vlado and I would be doing Laughs Unlimited or Tommy T's tonight. Vlado went and got himself ill, and is home hacking like he's got the SARS. So we had to cancel the comedy for tonight...which works out awesome, since tonight is the season premiere of "Lost"! Hellz yeah!

Stay tuned for details, but it's likely we'll be back on next week at both Po' Boyz (Monday) and Tommy T's (Tuesday). We'll keep you in the loop.

Here's hoping for a "get well soon" experience for the Fist Officer. Remember, Vlado, when it comes to comedy and the flu...you may think it's funny, but it's snot. (You see what I did there?).

The Comedy Odyssey - Part 4 ("The Boyz at Po' Boyz")

2010-02-02T01:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, just a quick one tonight, as I've gotten home late from this one.

In the first of our back-to-backs this week, Vlado and I hit the open mic night up at Po' Boyz in Folsom. This is a bar and grille that features live music (mostly blues, I hear), but has comedy nights on Mondays. This open mic is hosted by Cheryl the Soccer Mom, a well-known and hi-larious Sac area comedienne who handed me her card (by way of John Baradin, if you remember that story) on our first night up at Tommy's. With Vlado back in town from his paying job (who needs one of THOSE...?), we finally got a chance to take her up on her offer and head up. Good news - I emailed her first last night, and since she knew we were coming, she just went ahead and put us on the list ahead of time. No need to rush there. Awesome.

So we decided we'd take my van, and Vlado and Babydoll showed up at my place at 7:30ish. We drove up there figuring to eat and drink before the thing started at 9:00. We got there to find all of two or three people there (?!). After talking to the bartender, we found out more people show as the comedians come in at 9:00. Whew! We grabbed some chow (I got tacitos! I've missed tacitos!) and some beverages and relaxed. Well, *I* relaxed. I was just up there to do my same basic 5-minute set with some minor tweaks. Vlado, on the other hand, had decided to come up with mostly all-new material...like, an hour before he headed to my place. Ballsy. So he was still trying to get it memorized. He basically used this is a personal test to see how well he could pull off last-minute material. Right on.

Cheryl and others started to show, and I found out from her that while she was the host, instead of doing any MCing she was just going to have each comic finish their set and have them introduce the next comic coming up. She had me set at person #2. I asked if she could go ahead and put Vlado at #3, because I was the only one in the place capable of properly pronouncing "Vladimir Zeravica".

The crowd was not what you'd call huge, and seemed mostly made up of comedians and their guests, but it was a small place and a closer atmosphere, so it didn't seem empty. I got up and did my stuff, felt it went really good. I liked some of the changes I put in and may hold onto them. I got done and enjoyed getting to feel like an MC by introducing the Fist Officer. And I also enjoyed getting to hear Vlado's new stuff without knowing it all ahead of time for a change. We've been trading routines back and forth and editing each other this whole time. Finally, I got to go in with no spoilers! The new stuff was awesome...more pilot-based stuff, naturally...and even a little bit of Broadway choreography thrown in (whaaaaat? Well, that's what you get for not showing up to see it, isn't it?). We both felt great about the experience, enjoyed the really relaxed atmosphere of a largely-comedian crowd, and were quite happy to be #'s 2 and 3, so we could just kick back for the rest of the night and enjoy the show...you know, and drink.

Very happy with the Po' Boyz experience, and definitely going to do it again. I think I knew every single other comedian there save for one, as all the regulars from Tommy T's showed up - including our perennial host, Ellis Rodriguez, who showed up to do some new material (and material that just killed, dude. The man has skills). This is a great venue, I now realize, to try out new material, so I plan to use it for that purpose. New jokes a comin'! Only downside is the 9:00 PM start on a weeknight. We didn't get done until almost midnight. Not that this is a problem for me with my sleep schedule, but it does muss up things if you want to invite people along. You know, people who HAVE jobs?

Still no final word on tomorrow night, but it's looking more and more like Laughs Unlimited downtown. So seems we'll be hitting the big room in less than 24 hours. Stay tuned here for confirmation and a full report!

O'Connell/Zeravica back 2 back open mic action!

2010-01-31T19:51:00.001-08:00

The Professor X of Comedy (tm) and the Fist Officer (tm) are back on stage this week!

Yes, that's right comedy fetishists, Michael O'Connell and Vladimir Zeravica, after a couple weeks off while Vlad's been off flying around the country and earning a living, are back on stage this week for your chuckling pleasure. And back to back nights, Monday and Tuesday!

Monday is set. We'll be appearing at Po' Boyz Bar and Grill in Folsom for their weekly open mic night. That show starts at 9:00 PM, and we'll be on sometime after that point.

Tuesday is still up on the air on the location. We will either by appearing back at Tommy T's, OR will be debuting at Laughs Unlimited in Old Sacramento. There's still a scheduling question on that, so I'll have to update you once I know. The big Tommy T's open mic finals is coming up later this month, you see, and there's a "Finals Dry Run" going on Tuesday after open mic ends, where competing comics will be previewing their sets. I'm not sure at this point if that's ALL us open mic winners or just some, so don't know if I need to be there or not. Waiting to find out. If so, Vlado will be on during the open mic portion, I'll be on stage during the Dry Run portion an hour or two later. If not, we'll both be hitting Laughs Unlimited and doing our stuff for the downtown crowd.

Now, as a warning - this will not be new material. We'll be fine-tuning our existing acts (with minimal changes) this week, so if you've seen our YouTube videos, you've largely seen our sets. If you want to see those same jokes live, then by all means, come out and support us! If, however, you feel let down by reruns, we certainly understand.

More to come, but for now, here's the info on the definite one tomorrow night:

Po' Boys Bar and Grill
9580 Oak Avenue Parkway
Folsom, CA 95630
(916) 987-2886
NO COVER CHARGE

Hope to see you there!

Hecklers ON stage? Another night of Tommy T's comedy

2010-01-26T23:54:00.001-08:00

I headed down to Tommy T's tonight for the Tuesday open mic night. No getting up on stage for me this week. Two reasons. One, Vlado's out of town, and I don't want to be pulling ahead of him in the stage experience. That ain't right to do to a hard-working pilot-slash-comic. And two, I went alone, and therefore had no one to lift my ass up on stage. So unless they planned to have me do my act from back by the bar, it was just going to be spectator tonight. After the near-empty room Vlado and I had to deal with a couple weeks back, I wanted to do my part for fellow comics by at least being another person on the crowd. Apparently, on some nights, that can near DOUBLE the crowd.

So I hit the pharmacy first on my way over, and found myself in a ridiculous line. I thought this was going to make me late, but after I got to Tommy T's at almost 7:00, I found out that someone had confused the details on the evening. While the notice had said they would start at 6:30, it was actually a 7:30 start. I was early! Sweet! That allowed for starting drinking even earlier. You can do that kind of thing when you're not having to worry about getting up on stage.

I hung up at a table by the bar this time. This is where the comics tend to huddle, so it seemed like the place to be. Said hey to Lou and Ellis...and Ty, the big winner last time I was on! I noticed near me there was a table with a couple of pretty loud guys (REALLY loud guys) who seemed to be drinking a lot. I sensed trouble amiss...

I had assumed these guys knew each other, but, as I found out later, they were just both really loud, really drunk guys, so the Jack Daniels pheromone just pulled them into each other's orbits, and they fell in love immediately. As the show started, they were both quite distracting. Sometimes they'd be together, sometimes one would be at the bar while one was at the table. When this one guy was sitting alone, he would, without even looking up, comment on what the comedian was saying (positively, at least - "Yes! Yes! That's true!"), and with his voice, the comedian AND the whole rest of the place could clearly hear him. That is, when they could hear him over the REALLY drunk guy, who was talking at near shouting level to the bartender for what seemed like forever. People all the way up front kept looking back all night, wondering who the rude loud people were in the back (you know, the ones right by ME?), and many of the comedians had to deal with the situation - either having to play off the guy at the table with his comments, or deal with heckles or general loudness from bar guy.

So after a while, Ellis gets up there and call for the next comedian. Oh, joy. It's table guy! Table guy (pretty drunk but serviceable) states right off that he's not a comedian, and that he just came in to fill out a job application for waiting tables and decided to go up. He has no act. But to his credit...he was entertaining. He just kind of talked about his life a bit, and was a pretty naturally funny guy. So it wasn't disastrous or anything. But he did look up at one point when he obviously had nothing left and asked, "Isn't there supposed to be a red light coming on to save me here?", and Lou hit the light for him. He finished and went back to his table. Pretty well received.

So bar guy continues the yammering. Loud, drunk, obnoxious, getting shushed from all sides. Twice on stage Ellis, while making it a joke, of course, told the people back the bar to...well, to be quiet (I'm paraphrasing, of course). Then we're down to only three comedians left. Night's almost over. Ellis introduces the next comic by name...and bar guy start loudly yelling cheers for himself. There was the most amazing collective "Oh, God" from the whole room. It was magical. It was a brilliant mixture of discomfort and train-wreck anticipation.

Bar guy takes forever to get up to the stage, holding up his arms (and his drink) and yelling for himself the whole time. My first breath-holding moment (an "Oh, no" combined with a guilty but unavoidable "Ooh, this is gonna be good!") was waiting to see if he made it up the stairs to the stage - stairs I've seen sober comedians trip on three times now. He managed. He set his drink down on the stool and grabbed the mic. And started rambling. And stumbling. And, not surprisingly, going nowhere. It was painfully beautiful. After a couple minutes of this (I still couldn't tell you what he actually said, as fixated on the carnival atmosphere as I was), I started to wonder if he'd even see, and if so, heed, the red light when it came on. Well, that didn't end up being a problem. Apparently lost for more to say, he then decided to wow the crowd by stepping OFF the stage and on to one of the front row tables (where people were sitting). NOW we were in about-to-see-some-good-stuff territory.

At this point, Lou cut his mic. Which confused and annoyed bar guy to no end. Then, from my seat in the back, I could see Lou and Ellis, each slowly coming forward on opposite sides of the room, readying to get up on stage from two different sides and put an end to the spectacle. Bar guy saw this, and said (as you may have surmised from his vocal description earlier, he didn't NEED a mic to be heard), "Okay, okay, fine, I'm getting back." He then backed up and stepped back on the stage, managing to (dammit) do so without falling over. But Lou and Ellis approached, having him penned in, and apparently explained it was time for him to leave the stage. Thankfully, they didn't have to physically drag him off. Wait a minute...did I just say "thankfully"? Ripoff!

There were a couple more comedians to go, and, of course, bar guy didn't leave. He was back at the bar, being loud. Now, when the last comedian of the night went on? That's when this guy went into full heckle mode, and completely destroyed this guy's act (a guy whose act was, frankly, a bit cerebral and hard to follow to START with). I would hear later that it was around this point where bar guy then asked Lou when it was his turn to go up on stage. Ooookay. That's when Lou let him know it was time to go. I didn't get to hear all of it, just some loud bitching from bar guy as he was made to leave Tommy T's.

The show ended, and I headed down the elevator to go out to the smoking area where everyone meets post-show. I managed to get out there just in time to see bar guy being dragged by someone he obviously knew...dragged toward a car. There was a clearly embarrassed girl behind the wheel, waiting. Bar guy was pointing and belligerently yelling at the assembled crowd. I came out there just as he was yelling, "Come on, hit me! Any of you! I dare you!"

And I swear to you...for a minute there, I almost went up and did it. Just because it would have been the funniest thing to do at that moment.

But, after dropping him to the pavement once, his buddy managed to get him into the car and drive him away.

Oh GOD am I glad I didn't perform tonight.

The good news? In the middle of his drunken ranting at the bar, this guy apparently told Lou that he'd be back every Tuesday night from now on.

I can only dream....

[NOTE: The photo above was taken just before bar guy left the stage. You can see him there behind Ellis, being a drunken asshat]

The 01/05/10 Comedy Video - Now on YouTube

2010-01-20T23:02:00.000-08:00

Hey! Did you just tell me to go embed myself?!!

People who couldn't make it out to the big me 'n Vlado comedy debut on January 5th have been shouting for video. Well, here's mine, to start with. Will be getting Vlado's up ASAP.

This video, again, was shot by our old pal Rich, who was nice enough to lose a lot of sleep (he rises at about 2:30 AM to get to work) and drive a long way (he lives in freaking Galt) to set up a camera and do this for us, and then to have jump through a few hoops to get it transferred off his camera. Not only did he get the video for us, but he made each of us some awesome DVDs of them. So thanks, again, Chico Rich, for all the effort and for being there for us.

The sound's a bit low, but that's mainly because of the acoustics of the place and...well, frankly, my not-so-booming voice, and my not having figured out yet that just holding the damn mic works better for me. So you may have to pump up the volume a bit.

Hope you enjoy. And away we go...

The Comedy Odyssey - Part 3 ("Post-Comedic Stress Disorder")

2010-01-16T21:36:00.001-08:00

So my second attempt at stand-up hadn't been fantastic, but it hadn't been disastrous either, at least. But I knew I needed to get right back on the horse. Or the bike. Or whatever the right metaphor is. Vlado, too, wanted to get back up onstage and keep hitting it so we didn't get rusty, so we decided we needed to hit the next Tuesday night's open mic at Tommy T's--me, just to practice (you can't win again if you've already won, but a lot of comedians, as I said earlier, show up just to work their stuff in front of a crowd), and Vlado to see if he could get a win and get in the February competition as well.

I was going back to my original 5 minute routine, with just a couple of minor tweaks. Vlado had reworked his routine, adding in some new stuff and adjusting old. Both of us did our practicing at our respective homes (having learned my lesson about not rehearsing, I was taking no chances this time).

Tuesday came, and Vlado said he and Babydoll planned to have dinner at Spaghetti Factory and invited me to join them, so I did. Per Vlado, loading up on carbs before comedy can only be a good thing. It took a bit longer than we thought, but Tommy T's is right upstairs from the S.F., so we headed up with a few minutes to spare. The place was mildly filled, even a bit on the quiet side. But as we soon found out, it was going to be a long night - there were twenty comedians signed up for that night! Damn! Vlado had gone upstairs before we started dinner and put us on the list, and we decided that going in spots #'s 8 and 9 would be good for us (let the crowd get good and warmed up first...as I'd learned a few days before, going first sucks!), and this time, Vlado would be the one going before me (just to mix things up a little).

As the comedy began, the place slowly started filling up more. Pretty soon it was a pretty packed house. But the best part of the crowd, Vlado and I both noticed, was a couple of guys sitting a couple tables down from us. These were big guys...and the kind of guys who just seem to laugh at everything. And better yet, they had that kind of infectious laugh that gets other people around them going. We were both pretty stoked by this, as these guys promised to make things a lot easier for us.

We started to notice that while our time was supposed to be coming up, people seemed to be getting up ahead of us...people whose names were not on the list. Turns out there were some drop-ins...local comedians who popped in and wanted to do a few minutes. The vets get vet treatment. So we waited, and waited...

Soon we got told that we were coming up. Whew! Vlado wheeled me over to the stage door area, where we had a seat. The plan was that he'd get up and do his thing, come back down while Ellis was doing his interstitial bit, take me backstage and get me up the stairs to wait my turn to go. We were both prepared, calm and ready.

Then things started going a wee bit wrong. Know those two guys I mentioned? Just as the latest comedian finished up and Ellis got back on stage, we looked over and noticed both those guys got up and left...along with their whole big table. That was very disappointing...we were counting on those guys. Then, right after that? ANOTHER table got up and left. There had been a lot of comedians up there, and as this was a week night, people weren't going to hang around too late. So as we watched, the place emptied more, and more, until...

Vlado's turn!

Vlado went up on stage and looked down on the crowd. He didn't count right then, obviously, but did do a count later after both of us sat back down. 19 PEOPLE. That's what was left of the crowd when our turn at the mic finally came.

Can you guess what happened next?

Yeah, not pretty. Playing to a very small crowd? NOT FUN. Vlado did his revised act. An act, of course, meant to play to a big crowd...or even a medium crowd...but not, like, a can-fit-them-all-into-one-minivan crowd. It was rough. The room was dead. DEAD, I say! You could smell their bodies decaying. Their next of kin requested charitable donations in lieu of flowers.

Vlado got done, came down to get me, and told me, "Just push on through. That's all you can do." What else CAN you do, right? He got me up the stairs and I waited, and oddly, after having seen what he had to go through, I got eerily calm and relaxed. I now had zero expectations of doing well, and that seemed to take all the pressure off. All I was up there to do, I figured, was just practice my set, get my timing back, experiment with my new plan of just holding the mic the whole time instead of messing with the stand, etc. The crowd being involved? Irrelevant.

So Ellis gave me my intro, which I actually enjoyed quite a bit: "Ladies and gentlemen, the funniest man on wheels...the Professor X of comedy...Mr. Michael...O'Connell!" So I rolled out with the DJ playing AC/DC's "Back in Black" as my intro music. Very cool. And, yes, I remained calm. Almost TOO calm, in fact. I felt like I was talking to a few friends over dinner. So I just did my bit, and those 19 people were nice enough to sit through it. I had my marks and my timing back. I even felt the improv groove again, and called out to Ellis, referencing something in one of his earlier jokes and tying it into mine. What I didn't know at the time was that after introducing me, he'd LEFT...he had to take off for a few minutes or something, and (as I would find out at the end of my set when some other guy came up instead of him) had someone else do his MC chores for a couple of comics. My improv bit didn't actually require a response from him, so it wasn't like I was left hanging or anything. But I did find it funny that one of the other comedians in the back tried to cover for him and did a deep "Yeah" in response to what I was saying. So, yeah...I was just happy to work my stuff. Why? Because Vlado had jumped on the grenade first, and I knew in advance what to expect. I'm trying to imagine what would have been going through my head NOT realizing how quiet things were going to be. I had a good time, all things considered.

After I was done, we headed back to where Babydoll waited at our table, and we 1) ordered drinks quickly and 2) made sure to stay for the entire rest of the show for the poor devils who still had to go on AFTER us. We wanted to make sure to give them some extra support. And they needed it, because even MORE people left. By the time the last three comedians of the night were up, there was maybe 6 or 7 people left. Ow. I felt really bad for one guy in particular, because it was his very first time doing an open mic. And he had THAT crowd to work with. It was almost complete silence for him, but the thing was, he actually had a really good set. And he had good delivery. He would have killed with that act if there was more than half-dozen people there. After he got down, I wanted to be able to tell him that, but he was sitting a ways away and ended up taking off before I could talk to him. I really hope that didn't sour him to the experience. Oh, and one guy I really liked? He was, like, the second-to-last comic. And he looked down and saw the crowd and made a comment about the small size...and the proceeded to just throw out his whole routine and just goof around with the crowd. And it was funny! That's a sign of a real comic, guys who don't need a routine to please a crowd.

My favorite part of the night, though, was when the winners were announced. No, sadly, not Vlado this time (we'll be back to try again), which would have REALLY made it my favorite part, but what happened was very cool. See, when Vlado and I first checked out the open mic at Tommy T's, the week before we went on, the first comedian that went on was...well...he was not good. I mean, he seemed like a really great guy, and seemed like a very funny guy, and had the confidence...but he just didn't seem to get the structure of comedy. He kind of...well, lacked any kind of punchlines. At all. It didn't go well for him that night. The following week, before Vlado and I went on, he came back and went on again. And both Vlado and I were pleasantly surprised to find he had a couple of punchlines in there. Excellent. And then came this open mic, and there he was again. And you know what? He got it! His routine was good! It was done the right way and everything! I was really happy for the guy. Unfortunately, he ended up taking off after his set, and didn't hang around 'til the end to find out that when they announced the two chosen winners...he was one of them! I'm so inspired by that guy! He tried it once, it didn't work, but he didn't let that turn him off to the experience. He learned from his mistakes, adjusted, tried again, and did so again he got it right. And it paid off! Now I may be competing against him next month. This guy's my new hero!

Okay, actually, my favorite part of the night ended up being after the show. Vlado, Babydoll and I headed outside after the show FINALLY ended (it went on forEVER) where Ellis and some of the other comics were hanging out and smoking. There's nothing in the world like hanging out and talking with comics. It's not like a normal conversation. Here, someone would bring up a subject, and then it was like everyone was just passing the punchline around the circle. Everyone's just doing bits on the fly. It was great being a part of that. Comics are awesome people. It was great getting to know some of them some more.

So, to summarize...WE didn't stink...the CROWD did. I swear! I had already had my tepid crowd experience the previous Wednesday, but now Vlado and I both got to experience the tiny crowd moment. This is something comics have to deal with, so we were both glad that we got to get that experience out of the way. It's kind of like learning to box. You're going to be afraid of getting punched in the face until you actually take that first punch. And we did. And we'll both be prepared for it next time. Neither of us have been booed or heckled yet, so we still have THAT experience to look forward to at some point, but so far we're doing okay, and both of us are hungry to get up there and face it again.

And we shall...so stay tuned here for details! More stories and a big comedy competition yet to come!

The Comedy Odyssey - Part 2 ("The WRONG Way...")

2010-01-14T17:10:00.001-08:00

So I left Tommy T's after the night of my big debut feeling pretty good. After all, I hadn't just achieved the goal of simply getting up and doing it, but I'd done pretty darned well. Like, winning-the-contest well. After having spent years wondering what the stand-up experience would be like, I now knew, and I LIKED it.

Now I had to go back the next night and open for the Wednesday night comedy showcase. And they even handed me up to five additional minutes. That's pretty short notice. I had less than twenty-four hours to pretty much double my set, so I figured I'd better get right home and get it figured out.

I got home, still pretty wound up from the experience, and it was getting on toward midnight. I first had a lot of Facebook things and emails to answer about the night, since everyone on there was all a-buzz about the reports Vlado and I had been doing during and after the show. That took a while. It was getting quite late, though, and I knew time was short because I had to get up early(er) the next day. See, I had arranged with Tim to go see a matinee of Sherlock Holmes, and had already bought my ticket online. Plus, I had also told my friend Barrie we'd come grab him afterward and we'd all head for Tobacco Road, my cigar lounge, a place Tim, unlike Barrie and I, hadn't gotten to experience yet. So I had little time to work with that night, and no time the following day to work before having to arrive for the show.

But I wasn't that stressed about it. After getting off stage that night, I'd had one clear impression that stuck in my head, surprising at is was.

"Wow. That was EASY."

This was problem #1.

I had faced the great on-stage challenge, and it had gone unexpectedly well. Based on this, my mind told me that all my stressing out and preparation the first time around had been a waste of time. Doing comedy was a piece of cake! So I figured I didn't need to sweat it so much the next night. Yes, I had five additional minutes to come up with, but that really wasn't a problem. As I mentioned last time, there was lots of stuff that I'd had to throw out to work my material down to five minutes. Now, I figured, I could just relax and take my time up there, and all I had to do was to select a few things from the cutting room floor and insert them into my previous material. How hard could THAT be? Not very for me, I figured. So instead of sitting down and writing, preparing a new set and rehearsing it, I just decided I would go to Tommy T's, get up on stage, and "just wing it".

Because, you know, I had SO much comedy experience at that point, why SHOULDN'T I expect to be able to pull that off?

So I finished up my Facebook stuff, had a celebratory cigar on the patio, and got into bed, setting my alarm to get up early to get ready and make it to the movie on time. But I was still wound, and had a million things going through my head (possible new jokes being many of those million), and I just could not fall asleep, try though I did. In the end, I ended up getting about three hours of sleep before the alarm went off.

This being problem #2.

I got myself up and around, packed up all the stuff I'd need for the night since I wouldn't be coming home before the show, and headed for the theater. Tim met me there and we saw the film, which I enjoyed quite a bit (despite the fact that, due to the lack of sleep, I started dozing off a little at one point). After that, we grabbed Barrie, and we headed to Tobacco Road. Some of my regular guys I hang out with there were on site, and wondered how the big comedy night had gone. I told them about the win, and Zack bought me a cigar to celebrate. Cool. So we chilled out and smoked up, until it was finally time to get underway. Tim headed over to the joint, while I dropped Barrie off and then went and picked up Vlado. To Rancho we did go.

The night before, after the show ended, the manager Christine had told me to call and and let them know how many people would be coming with me the second night, as they would reserve a table for my party. Reserved table? My, my. I liked that. In addition to Tim and Vlado and I, Tim's brother Brian, A.T., Ken, and my housekeeper Cindy had said they were coming. When I called Christine at the club, I gave her the number, and she said the table would be waiting, and she said she'd just get us our "regular table". Vlado and I had sat at this table both times we'd been there, and now it appeared that we were becoming such regulars that we had an acknowledged "regular table". NOW we were starting to feel like comedians. And showing up and finding a sign on your table that says "VIP Reserved - Michael O'Connell"? Now THAT's living the dream.

Cindy coming was an awesome thing. During all the lead-up time, when she'd come over to clean my place and do the laundry, I had been telling her about this. And she very much wanted to come see my open mic. But Cindy is also the mother of my friend Tami, who's married to my friend Chris, and Cindy is their babysitter. So she knew if both Chris and Tami went, she'd need to be with the the kids and wouldn't be able to attend. So I told her, jokingly, not to worry - I'd just have to win the contest so she could come see me the next night. Well...THAT turned out well. So she showed up, very happy to be there, and I was very happy that the win had allowed that to happen.

So we relaxed at our table before things started, with me, kind of in a daze and half-awake, feeling no fear. I was chill. That night was going to be a comedy showcase, with three comedians and a host, and me opening. The host came over and say hey to me...nice guy named Robert that I'd met and chatted with after the previous night's show (he'd been one of the comics on stage, but not competing to win, as he'd already won a previous open mic...just working on his stuff). He soon got ready to head up, and Tim and I took our cue to head for the stage door (luckily no one was seated in our row of travel this time). The place was pretty full-up. People hadn't spread up to these seats this time, though, because apparently the floor paint had dried in front of the stage, and those tables were back. This intimidated me a little. I had, the previous night, been initially bothered by the open floor, but it turned out to be kind of nice without having people looking right up at you. Now I'd be able to clearly see faces. Hmmm.

Tim got me up the stairs, and Robert quickly introduced me...and kindly mispronounced my name (O'Conner. That's helpful when you're trying to make a name for yourself. At least he didn't call me a "fist commander"...). Out again I went, though this time not as zen...and this time, kind of a zombie from the lack of sleep. I arranged with Tim to come out and set the mic stand for me, so I wouldn't have the same problem with the having to lean over. He got it to a certain height, and I told him that was fine. It LOOKED fine when he set it, but as soon as he left I realized it was just a little bit too tall...and because of that, and because of my non-bending spine, leaning toward it was going to make my head go down even further. To get the mic up to me, I had to grab the stand and lean it up to me, holding it at a balanced angle. This was kind of awkward.

Which kind of set the tone for the performance.

I got started, and felt out of sorts from the start. This got worse when I went from my same opening joke and moved right into the "new" material. Which, again, I hadn't practiced with (because, again, I'm so much of a pro that I don't NEED rehearsal...). So I felt unsure about it, and I think that came through. And the new material wasn't necessarily great. Pretty early on I did a Jerry Lewis joke that fell totally flat, which was my first taste of onstage crickets. I now knew what it was like to hit the wall of silence. It's not a pleasant feeling the first time, believe me. You get a rush of panic when you've not experienced it before and you're not too sure what to do with it. Please note, also, that the first two tables in the front row were filled with a group of college girls celebrating a birthday party. Clearly, none of them were old enough to have any idea who Jerry Lewis WAS. Coyotes howled in the distance. A tumbleweed went by. I longed to have an emergency dick joke in my quiver for backup.

I pressed on, not having a grip on my set, fumbling in a couple of places trying to integrate the old and new. More new stuff didn't hit big. More panic. More nerves. I was not only out of it, but had lost my previous night's confidence. My energy level was low. My mind was all over the place. So much so that I didn't even realize until a day or two later that I'd left out part of a bit, which made the punchline not make too much sense. The hits just kept on coming.

Was it a total tank? It sure as hell felt like it up there, though there was laughter. By the end, I did my final joke, kind of lingered for a moment, and then said thank you and good night. I left the stage feeling like I'd totally blown it, and just to add that little extra helping of goodness, Robert asked the crowd to one more time give it up for Michael O'Conner. Greeeat.

I got back to my table, and the others were kind about it. But I knew what doing it right felt like, and that had NOT been it. I ordered food and drink and dealt with it, and listened to the rest of the comics. I'd asked Vlado to video it for me, which he had, because good or bad, I wanted to be able to review the game tape for learning purposes. I had things to learn, all right. They included:

1) Sleeping before a performance is kind of important. I should have said no to the movie and gotten a good night's sleep. Sleep helps you brain more better.

2) Practice, practice, practice. Winging it is not a game for the noob. I should have gotten home the night before, decided for sure what I was using, typed the new stuff into the existing routine, and practiced it a number of times. I heard a good quote that night from Vlado, who was quoting Sting: "You have your whole life to make your first album. Then you only have six months to make your second one". I had very little time to come up with a longer routine, but I still should have taken that time. I'd forgotten how important all my previous prep had been to making my confident.

3) Going first sucks. The opener is the one who has to has to warm up the crowd. By definition, then, the crowd is COLD when you get them. This is not pleasant. I prefer a crowd thawed and pre-heated. Will try to avoid that in the future if possible.

4) Confident is not the same thing as cocky. I'd gone up the previous night confident, because I'd gotten myself into that state. Because of the way the experience went, I let it get into my head that doing a set of comedy was a breeze. You never know, from one night to the next, what kind of crowd you're going to have, whether there will be tables or an empty, just-painted floor in front of you, or if a sorority girl is going to be having a birthday party. You have to respect the stage. And I did not. This was a lesson learned the hard way. Which is a good thing, I think.

We enjoyed the rest of the night, though I had a lot on my mind, smarting from my lukewarm sophomore showing. Turns out I could have done worse. Robert, the host? All of a sudden, another comic ("Boogie"...very funny guy) was up on stage hosting instead. Where had Robert gone? Well, I talked to Lou the manager after, and he said that Robert was supposed to be doing like three jokes between comics, and he'd been doing just one. So he got yanked in the middle of the show and replaced. Ow. That made me feel bad for Robert, but made ME feel a little bit better. At least I didn't get fired.

After it was over I ended up talking to a couple of comics, including the last comic of the night, whose name, if I'm remembering right, is Brian Diamond. While he had shown up late and hadn't seen my act, I talked about it not going too great, and a got a lot of good advice from him from his twenty years of doing stand-up, mostly about how there are way too many factors that affect what a crowd, and a night, as going to be like, to stress over trying to figure it all out. You just need to get through it and get on to the next gig. I really appreciated what he had to say. And also, a couple of girls stopped on the way out to tell me how great I'd been. I simply said thank you, when what I wanted to do was apologize. I let my co-ed fans down! Oh, the humanity!

I always try to look for the lessons in any seemingly bad situation, and found many of them that night. The biggest silver lining was that if I want to continue doing comedy, I'm going to have to learn to deal with a bad crowd, and with moments of silence when the jokes don't quite work. And I got that experience on that Wednesday night, very early on in my "career", and felt it prepared me nicely to deal with that possibility in the future. Having a great first time out isn't necessarily a positive thing - they aren't all going to be like that, and the sooner you get that through your head, the better. It is, I can tell you, through my head.

And getting back on the horse is very important, too, so I wanted to do so as soon as possible. Vlado and I both felt that way, and agreed we needed to come back the following Tuesday night for open mic, and, like many comedians there, work on our acts in front of a crowd.

Of course, "crowd" can sometimes be the wrong word, as we were going to find out in less than a week.

Part 3 to come.

The Comedy Odyssey - Part 1 ("The RIGHT Way...")

2010-01-13T22:23:00.000-08:00

If you've read the earlier entries, you know how my journey into stand-up comedy began: I made myself a bucket list in 2002 and decided to put "Do a comedy open mic" on it, I mentioned this a while back to my buddy Vlado, he said that he and I should get up and do it, I said okay. Just that simple. He did some research on local Sacramento comedy clubs, and we decided we would do this thing at Tommy T's Comedy and Dinner Theater in Rancho Cordova.

We set a date not too far distant, and both started working on our material. I, being a procrastinator, took my time. Not surprisingly, the date crept up fast (being right after the holidays). So I finally had to sit myself down and do some writing, and come up with 3-5 minutes of material. My problem with this was probably the opposite of most people. Your average person would sweat having to come up with a whole five minutes of comedy. For me, it was trying to figure out how I was going to squeeze everything I wanted to talk about into JUST five minutes. So I wrote, and I wrote, and I threw lots of stuff out for the sake of time. When I finally had the routine I wanted, it came out about two minutes too long. Oops. More editing. During this time, Vlado and I spotting each other became invaluable. I would send him my routine, he would send back notes with lots of edits. It was only because of his intervention that I was able to FINALLY (like, two nights before the show) get my bit running at right around five minutes. This would work just fine, providing no one laughed very much. Yes, I too enjoyed the irony.

Being big Facebook guys, we posted up our intentions on our respective pages. Another part of Vlado's plan was that we tell everyone we knew what we were doing, making it that much harder to back out of it. This worked nicely, because suddenly, we both had tons of friends and family expressing interest in coming to see it. There was now no turning back.

We decided it would be smart to go the open mic night at Tommy T's the week before we went on, both to get a feel for the place and to get a lot of our questions answered. We showed up just before they opened, and the manager there was extremely helpful and friendly. I got the chance to figure out the wheelchair logistics. The stage in this place had three big steps going up to it on either side. I realized right away that even though someone could probably lift me up those, doing so in front of a crowd of people would not only be a little humiliating for me, but pretty uncomfortable for them to watch. The place did have a backstage area, though. Still steps to deal with, but they could be handled out of eyesight, at least. I asked my chair-lifter of over thirty years, Tim, to hook me up on that, since he was going to be there anyway. Problem solved.

We ordered drinks and food and settled in to watch the show, and to see what we were in for. The very first comedian on stage--not to be unkind, just to be accurate here--was awful. He literally did not know what a punchline was. He just tried to tell funny stories...ones that never really came to a point. They weren't even jokes. The next comedian wasn't all that much better. Vlado and I looked at each other, both thinking the same thing: we could do this. If these guys could do it, certainly we couldn't do any worse. Even if we stunk, it appeared we'd be in good company. We left there, with a week left to go, feeling confident and relaxed. We were now able to visualize the location, which makes a big difference when you're rehearsing, and we also got to see how other people would be seeing us up there. It helps to realize that even though people might not be laughing aloud, that doesn't mean they hate your guts.

As the day approached, did I fear doing this? Not really. I've been a big self-help, Tony Robbins kind of guy the past couple of years, and I'm all about trying new things and ignoring the fear (and sometimes that even works). All my emotional turmoil came from working the routine. Many drafts later, I found that once I had a final product, I relaxed. Thinking I'd never be able to complete a routine was a much bigger fear than the idea of actually doing it. I did have fears about being able to memorize the routine; I haven't had to memorize anything in quite some time. But then, one night, I was in the kitchen and had my stopwatch handy, and was away from my written routine (still on the computer, unprinted). I decided to time out the opening part of my act, to check its duration and see if anything there could be shaved. I hit the stopwatch, and much to my surprise, I did my whole act from memory. How about that?

Once I had the final set locked, I spent that last couple of days before the big Tuesday rehearsing - making sure I had it memorized, trying different physical movements and voice inflections to maximize the funny, etc. I had it down. All I had to do, now, was to do the same thing on stage. Under a spotlight. In front of people. Hmmmm.

Tuesday came. Vlado offered me a ride with him and his girlfriend, but I decided I wanted to drive. I wanted to have that final bit of time during the commute to get my head straight, go over my act, and get my emotions in the right place of no-fear. I also made a decision before I left my apartment. I was going through my checklist, and one of the items was to print out my routine to take with me. I figured I'd take a final look at it at the club before going on, and keep it folded in my coat pocket as a backup in case I got brainlock up on stage. I pulled up the file, and was about to hit the print button, and I changed my mind. I remembered the previous week at Tommy T's, watching some guy sitting at a table before the show, looking a nervous wreck, pouring over his typed routine. He looked miserable. I also remembered seeing a couple of comedians on stage actually taking out their notes and setting them on the stool, and referring to them as they went along.

I didn't want to be any of these guys. I didn't want to be the first guy, minutes away from getting on stage and still not believing that I was ready or able to pull it off. And I definitely didn't want to be the other guys. The essence of stand-up comedy is to appear that you're just making up, on the spot, the stuff you're talking about up there. Notes completely destroy the illusion - and they also look very unprofessional. So I made the choice to leave my notes at home. As someone said to me later that night, I was like Cortes burning his ships. While this is historically inaccurate (he actually grounded them, and only nine out of the twelve, and you don't care about any of this, do you?), it serves as a pretty good metaphor. It was all or nothing for me at that point. And making that choice stoked my confidence even further.

After a drive through heavy commute traffic (which is why I left early), I got there, met up with Vlado and Arianna, and headed inside. We were a good hour early (they were open, but the show didn't start until later), so were able to get the table we wanted (the same one as the previous week). And soon, we were joined by a couple of important members of our crew: Tim, who would be my "stairmaster", and Rich, who had agreed to video the performances for us (being a professional in the industry, he was the perfect choice. I should point out that he was in TV. If I left it vague like that, you'd suspect I was talking about porn). Vlado got himself a beer. Me? I'd decided I didn't want to drink or eat anything until I was off stage. So I hadn't eaten all day. Probably not the best idea, but still seemed like the smarter choice.

We'd had several people have to cancel on us at the last minute, so we weren't sure how many of our people were actually going to show. Well, plenty did. Soon enough, my friends Barrie, Jessica and Kyle showed up. And Vlado's lifelong buddy Al joined us. Old school chums (as in old chums from school) began to appear. Dennis (the goalie!) and his friend Laura. Mike R. Kim (who I hadn't seen in about 25 years (if not more)). Roxanne. Chris K. and Tami. Larry and Tina. Rachel and Nichole. Robert. And John B. It's important to mention John because of something that happened later. Like Kim, I hadn't seen John in over two decades. John's ended up with M.S. in the years since, and uses an electric scooter. Not only was it great to see him again, but he inadvertently became part of a funny story. Also, my friend Joy, who hadn't been sure she was going to be able to make it, showed up with her mother and niece, both of whom I know. And even though they had to show up late, Chris B. and Emily made it just before the show started. The only one who looked like he wouldn't make it in time was A.T., who had a class that night that didn't get out until 8:30, but he said he planned to show up and hang out with us anyway, even if he missed us on stage.

And family was also in attendance. Arianna's family showed up to support Vlado. I had representation from all three sides of mine. My stepsister Wendy and her husband Rick showed up for the Bryant side. Chad came with Larry and Tina, repping the Moon side. And carrying the banner from the O'Connell side, my Uncle Stan and Aunt Kathy (and Stan's sister Dorothy) made the scene. This was brave of them because I warned that largely Mormon side of the family that these comedy shows can get quite vulgar and explicit, and that they could always just wait to see the video of my stuff later (which PROBABLY be less vulgar and explicit...), but they took their chances and braved Tommy T's anyway, which really meant a lot to me.

So we had ourselves a good showing of support, and were quite happy about that. Soon the lights went down and the show began. It was coming. I was more excited than nervous, but still felt some nerves with the anticipation. We had signed up on the list to be #'s 5 and 6 for the night, so we would let the crowd get a little warmed up first. And they did. There were two comedians up there who were really, really good - so much so that I decided not to bother worrying about winning the contest because one of them would surely take the prize. So that actually relaxed me some more.

The main manager (Lou) came over during one comic's bit and let me and Tim know that I was up next. This was our cue to head to the stage door to get ready to get backstage. Problem - the place filled up quite nicely, and the already close row between tables that led there was filled with people. We had to clank and bash and "excuse me" our whole way there, knocking chair aside, but finally made it. This was the biggest stress of the night for me, but only because I was so afraid that we were making a lot of noise and distracting the comic up on stage. He didn't seem to notice, thankfully.

Once that guy finished up, the MC - Ellis Rodriguez, a great comedian that Vlado and I had met the week before - got up on stage to do his between-comics jokes, and that meant is was time to head in. We got backstage, and Tim easily got me up the extra-tall stairs (three decades of experience makes that happen), and he headed back down, leaving me there behind a black curtain, waiting to hear my name. I could see some of the audience from back there. I went into kind of a zen state. I didn't want to be afraid. I didn't want to be nervous. I wanted to relax, have a good time, radiate confidence, and do my routine just as I'd practiced it so many times. The only concern on my mind then was not wanting to run over my time and get management ticked at me (as management is the one who decides the contest winners, after all).

Ellis's bit went quick, and then I heard my name, and the applause. Go-time. I rolled out into the spotlight. I had asked Ellis beforehand to drop the mic stand for me, and he did so. Unfortunately, turns out it was TOO low, and I realized quickly that I was going to have to lean over to speak into it for that portion of my act that required a stand (I'd be removing it at some point for the final part of my routine). So I took a breath, leaned in, and began.

And I wasn't nervous. I felt so relaxed, in fact, that I even broke script and improvised something right up front, making a joke having something to do with the strange set-up of the floor (they had roped off the whole area in front of the stage for floor painting, so all the tables were gone). And I went into my act. Now if you've never been on stage, you haven't experienced the strange kind of time compression that happens. You know how during an accident or when you're starting to take a fall, everything kind of goes into slow motion? This is the opposite. This period of time kind of just vanishes. You go into autopilot. This is why rehearsing your act is so important; if you're going on autopilot, you'd damned well better have your route programmed in. I did, and before I knew it, my time was over. Only after did it occur to me that I had never seen "the light". There's a light, which I now know is up by the bar (didn't realize until I was starting to go up that I'd never bothered to find out where the light they told us about was), the goes on solid red when you're down to a minute left, and starts blinking white if your time is up and you need to (and I quote) get the hell off the stage. Had I gone over? I had no idea. I just knew I heard cheering and was leaving the stage as Ellis came back on.

It had felt really good, that act I had just done, but I had no way to know if it really HAD gone well...since I could barely remember any of it. My first sign that it had was Tim, meeting me at the stairs, quite excited, whisper/shouting, "Dude, you killed!". Oh...killed is good. In comedy. Right on. That made me feel better. I can't really remember what Tim and I discussed going down the stairs. The rush was still jamming up my head. So much so that I didn't realize until later that Ellis was on stage talking about me at that time. Still don't know what he said, since I still don't have the full video yet. Let's hope it wasn't, "Could the rest of you comics tonight please not go seven minutes over your time like O'Connell did? Did he NOT see the blinking light?".

Second sign was when we came out the stage door, and Vlado came up. Vlado was getting ready to go up, and was heading to the stairs at stage right, and like Tim, he looked really, really jazzed and whispered, "Dude, you nailed it!" Okay. Nailing is good, too. Killing and nailing. I was feeling pretty sure that my good feelings about the performance weren't just all in my head. We then headed back through the thin, thin row of tables, but this time, didn't have to ask people to move. They all got up. And several shook my hand, and said that that had been great. That was cool. But cooler still was getting to the and of that aisle, and realizing the person sitting alone at the last table was A.T. He had managed to arrive and get inside RIGHT before I went on. That made my night. I really wanted him to be there for this. I was quite glad they'd started the show a little late.

Vlado got called up. And called up badly, I should add. Ellis Rodriquez impressively butchered his name. Vlado had written his name (with his pilot title in mind, as he was going to be doing pilot humor) as "First Officer Vladimir Zeravica". Ellis had trouble reading it and pronounced the first part "FIST officer" and then did things to the pronunciation of Vlado's name that shouldn't be done to a barnyard animal. But that was his cue, and, decked out in suit and tie, Fist Officer Vlado took the stage.

Vlado HIT IT. I'm not going to get into details, as I don't want to give spoilers (we plan to have the video of both our performances up soon), but as someone who knew Vlado's routine inside and out from reviewing all the drafts, I can tell you he was ON it. He, too, even managed a little improv in the middle (cocky bastards, aren't we?). The jokes in there that were my favorites did really well, which made me feel all smart for betting on the right ones. It was as though he held the whole audience in his...fist? (See what I did there? In comedy, we call that a "throwback". Okay, I totally just made that up. I've been in comedy for just over a week. Like I really know all the lingo by now...). He finished on the perfect groaner joke (in a good way), and as he told me soon after, he, too, had NO idea how long he'd been up there or if he'd actually done his whole act. Fortunately for him, he has a lot more experience at autopilot than I do, so it was smooooth flying. Nicely done, Fist Officer.

My next indication that I'd done okay came in the middle of Vlado's act. Ellis came over to my table and crouched down next to me. He clasped my hand, leaned over to my ear, and just whispered, "Jesus Christ". He then paused, like he was looking for more words, but then just repeated "Jesus Christ" again. With that, he shook my hand, got up, and walked away. So that's good, right? Blasphemy is better than even killing and nailing, right?

Some of our people had to leave (it WAS a Tuesday night, after all), including Rich, who came and did his video thing until after 9:00pm with us even though he had to get up at 2:30 AM for work. That's why he's our BOY, yo! Most of the disappearing folks didn't come over and say goodbye, and I thought that was very courteous, them not wanting to talk over the other people up on stage. We knew we'd talk to them the next day.

Oh, and I also flagged down the waitress right away and ordered FOOOOOOOD and drink. I was really, really hungry at this point. Got me some chicken strips and fries (and a Guinn), and was so hungry I burned the inside of my mouth on hot chicken. Didn't even feel it (until later)...I was feeling too good. Vlado and I toasted there at our table. We had set upon a mission, had seen it through, and hadn't either embarrassed or soiled ourselves. Armed with our phones, we both started going Facebook updates for those who hadn't been able to join us, and waited on the final comics to do their thing.

When the very last comic was in the middle of his bit, Christine (the manager who'd given us our tour the previous week) came over to me and leaned in for a whisper. She asked if I was available the following night, because they were about to announce me as the winner and the winner is supposed to come back to open the show the following night. I said I was, she said not to tell anyone just yet, as Ellis was going to be announcing it up on the mic. Vlado and Tim looked at me to see what that was about. I kind of shrugged them off, wanting to keep to my covenant of secrecy. But Vlado pulled out his phone, got on Facebook, typed the words "MIKE WON!!!" as a status update, but didn't hit "enter" until Ellis came up on the mic a few minutes later and made it official.

Wow. Shock. This was an important life lesson for me. One about facing fears. Everyone knows the stats on where the fear of public speaking ranks with people (scarier than death OR the Blair Witch). Comedy is scarier. It's not just public speaking. It's the lion's den of public speaking. Your job isn't just to hold the audience's attention. They expect LAUGHS. A lot of them. And they will punish you (with either silence, heckling, or yawning and starting to play Bejeweled 2 on their iPhones) if they don't get them. Your feedback is immediate. That's intimidating. So when you factor all that in, it's a pretty scary proposition. This made it a perfect test of my new way of thinking, and all that I've tried to learn about managing fear. I knew that I was going to feel great just knowing that I'd forced myself to do it and follow through, one way or the other. If I'd failed, I'd have at least been able to say I tried, and would always have the story about the time I got up on stage and tried to tell jokes with a bunch of my favorite people in the world there to watch me. Winning was not expected. But it was really cool. It was just that extra little pat on the back for not chickening out, and an incentive to keep trying new things in life...because you never know if you might just end up loving it.

And I loved this. Comedy kicks ass.

So I now officially have TWO things (this and Ireland) crossed off my bucket list, so big thanks to Vlado for forcing me to get it off the list and put it on the stage. He and I set out to make this reality and did just that, having a fantastic time in the process. And getting us a new nickname for Vlado in the process (I'm thinking of officially changing his name on my cell phone to "Fist Officer" now...).

A good and successful first night of comedy. And a chance to come back in less than twenty-four hours to do it again...and this time with a full 10 minutes available to me instead of 5. Hell, after a debut like that, there was no way anything could go wrong the following night, right?

Yeahhhhh. About that?

Stay tuned for Part 2 ("The WRONG Way...").

EPILOGUE

Oh, yeah...the John B. thing.

So John was sitting in his scooter at a table a few away from ours. While Vlado was on, this woman came up to John in the dark, handed him a card, and told him she'd really enjoyed his stuff. She said she ran an open mic up at a place at Folsom, and that she'd really like it if he'd come up and perform there.

Yes. She thought he was me.

Because, you know, us wheelchair people? We all look alike. At least in the dark, apparently.

Best part of that? John never even told her. He just rolled with it, thanked her for the compliment, took her card, and after the show was over, came over and handed it off to me.

Now THAT's comedy.

Second chance! Tommy T's, tonight, at 7:30!

2010-01-06T02:25:00.000-08:00

Wish I had time to go into all the details, but the night is short, and got to get this out before I turn in.

So, yeah, last night was the big open mic comedy contest at Tommy T's Comedy Club, and Vlado and I went up and did our thing. Much prep, much sweat, much angst, much self-doubt...but we pulled our material together and stayed true to our pledge to get up and do this.

And we both did pretty darned good. How good? Seemed to me that one of us HAD to end up the winner, since we were, of COURSE, the two funniest guys in the room (in our minds, at least, but positive visualization is all part of the process). We both hit it hard.

And at the end? Holy crap. I won. Didn't see that coming. I thought this would be a one-time, once-in-a-lifetime thing. Looks like now it's going to be at least THREE times in a lifetime.

So because I won, I have to come back tonight (Wednesday, 1/6) and be part of a comedy showcase, and (woo hoo!) I get a full 10 minutes. If you knew how much material BOTH of us had to leave on the cutting room floor when trimming down our routines to the 3-5 minutes allowed, you'd understand how much I have left to work with. So much so that I'm not even taking additional notes. I'm just going to get up there and reintegrate earlier material from memory. Should be able to hit 10 minutes, no problem. Especially if I doze off for a little bit in the middle... And apparently this now enters me in a contest in February I need to show for, but I'll have to wait on the details of that.

So if you've got nothing else going on on a Wednesday night, feel free to drop in sometime before 7:30 and join us. I'll be the one on stage, but Vlado, Tim, A.T. and I will be hanging there, and from indications, several others. If you're one of those people who wished you'd made it Tuesday but something came up, you've got another shot. So use it! We already know a number of people showing. Should be another fun party.

Can't begin to thank everyone who showed up to support us. Man, I'm not going to be able to remember everybody. A.T., Tim, Barrie, Jess, Rick, Wendy, Rachel, Nichole, Babydoll, Babydoll's fam, Robert, Mike, Roxanne, John, Joy and fam, Chris K., Tami, Tina, Larry, Kim, Chris B., Emily, Chad, Dennis, Laura... Who else, who else? A special thanks goes out to my Uncle Stan, Aunt Kathy and Aunt Dorothy, who, despite my warnings about the "blue" comedy of all those less family-friendly comedians (hey, I did a couple stripper jokes, but strippers have families, too, right?), showed up to represent the O'Connell family. And a very, very special thanks to our man on the cam, Rich, who showed up and did the video despite the fact that he has to get up at 2:30 AM to go to work, and hopefully (I'm now worried about the lighting after seeing some photos...) captured the performances of me and V for those who couldn't make it to enjoy.

Okay, off to sleep myself, but again...if you think you can make it, see the previous post for the map and such. Come on down and have a good time with us! Join the O.Z. (O'Connell/Zeravica) Tour! Or the Z.o.O. (Zeravica or O'Connell) Tour, depending on what we decide on...

Michael O'Connell & Vladimir Zeravica...Live on Stage, 1/5/10!

2009-12-29T23:43:00.000-08:00

WHAT (?): Michael O'Connell (that's me) and Vladimir Zeravica will each be doing 3-5 minutes of live open mic comedy. For reals.

WHEN: Tuesday, January 5, 2010, at 7:00 PM

WHERE: Tommy T's Comedy & Dinner Theater - 12401 Folsom Boulevard, Rancho Cordova, CA 95742-6416. (916) 357-5233

WHY?: Funny story...

So, like a few months ago or something, I happened to mention to my good friend Vlado (for those not in my high school loop, Vlado and I went to the same Adventist school back in the...well, let's not focus on the when, okay?) my belief that everyone should be required to, at least once in their lives, get up on stage and see if they have a 3-5 minute set of comedy in them. Even if they totally crash and burn, just to be able to tell themselves that they had the guts to try.

So, like a couple of months ago or something, Vlado called me up and said, "Let's do it." I said, "Okay". Come to think of it, that's not really that funny of a story, is it?

This is something that's actually on my bucket list, so the opportunity to finally get it off there was a challenge I embraced. And Vlado wisely pointed out that we needed to pick a date and set it, AND tell everyone we know that we were doing it, so there would be no backing out. Mission accomplished, because one week from tonight, it is ON.

Those of you in our Facebook circle have known this, those of you not there might be going "WTF?!" for the first time, but for both flavors of you, here's all the final details, which I waited on until Vlado and I actually scouted the place and attended an open mic...which was this evening. So, the details are:

Tommy T's is a comedy club located in Rancho Cordova, on Folsom Blvd, just off Highway 50 at the Hazel exit. Here's a handy map:

(Click it for a bigger map)

If you're from Sac, you probably know where the Old Spaghetti Factory is on Folsom, right? Tommy T's is upstairs from it. The entrance is on the east side parking lot...big overhang, you can't miss it.

As this is open mic night, with no headliners, there's no need for tickets. There MAY be a $5 cover to get in. There currently isn't one, but the person we talked to there said one may start getting charged in January.

While there's no tickets and little or no cover, this ain't free, so come prepared. There is a two-drink or two-food-item minimum. Food items do replace the drink minimums if you're not drinking. They have full dinners and they have appetizers. It's restaurant pricing, so not dirt cheap. Round up and expect $10-$15 for appetizers, $15-$30 for dinners, under $10 each for dessert items. This minimum is per person. So, probably cheaper just to get drunk, don't you think?

The place opens at 6:00 PM, the show starts about 7:00 PM. It's a pretty big venue, so there should be no problem with getting a table. But getting there early gets you the good ones.

After just spending an evening there, I want to make sure we have full disclosure, specifically for those folks who don't care for, shall we say, "blue" comedy. This is an 18-over comedy club (so, in case there was a question of it, no kids). This means you will be sampling plenty of foul language and big helpings of sexually explicit humor. It's a comedy club...it happens. So if that's not something that interests you, I will totally understand if you don't think showing up would be a good idea for you. We'll be getting our stuff on video, so you can always check our stuff out online later on. I just don't want there to be any unpleasant surprises for anyone, or anyone feeling uncomfortable being there. You make the call.

That being said, we would LOVE to get as many folks there as possible for our great leap into the big lagoon of comedy. We've each got our own set to do (no, we're not doing this as a team, for those who wondered about that). We may triumph, we may go down in disgrace and humiliation, but way, you can be there to witness it.

So prepare to have your funny bones crushed into powder, girlie men! (Or manly girls, depending...). Join us for a Tuesday night to remember...or perhaps one we'll be praying that you'll forget.

Thanks everybody, you've been great, good night!

For further info on Tommy T's, visit their web site.

Christmas is a Feeling

2009-12-25T14:48:00.001-08:00

On this Christmas Day, I thought I'd share some sentiments from a song I sang in the school choir in the sixth grade. Academy classmates, feel free to sing along.

CHRISTMAS IS A FEELING

by
Natalie Sleeth

Christmas is a feeling filling the air

It's love and joy and laughter of people everywhere

Christmas is a feeling bringing good cheer

It reaches out to touch you as the holiday draws near

It's mistletoe and falling snow

And candles burning bright

It's a baby in a manger on a cold winters night

It's glad noels and chiming bells

And presents by the tree

It's the spirit of giving in you and in me

For Christmas is a feeling filling the air

It's love and joy and laughter of people everywhere

But if Christmas is a feeling bringing such good cheer

Then why oh why don't you and I

Try to make it last all year

Why can't it last all year?

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Return of the Kings

2009-10-30T18:19:00.001-07:00

For me, at least.

I'm sitting here on my patio listening to the second game of the 2009/2010 season on my laptop. I'd be inside watching the game on the tube, but my housekeeper is in there doing her thing right now, so I figured I'd stay out of her way and enjoy some audio basketball. Besides...this way I can have a cigar while I do it.

As suggested in my previous blog entry, I did watch the opening game of this season for Sacramento's only claim to pro-sports fame. We don't have a football team in Sac. We have no MLB team. No hockey to be found. No, Sacramento is all about the basketball, and has been since 1985 when we got our first sports franchise. And for a magical handful of years at the start of this new century, our franchise was actually one of the elite in the league, an exciting, headline-making team that was a part of what many consider to be one of the best playoff showdowns of all time.

These days? Well, the season opener kind of defined where we are now.

I, once a Kings fanatic, fell away from not only the team, but the sport. It wasn't really a conscious choice. Like many of Sacramento's fans, I had my spirit crushed by the loss to the Lakers (which many of us still consider to be questionable...but don't get us started), but was back again for more the next season. But life changed for me with a lot more work hours, and my Kings euphoria turned to anger is management decided to start selling off my whole team, player by player, and eventually dumped my coach, too. It was no longer the team I knew so well, and while everyone talked about how good all these changes were for the team, I never bought it, and found myself regretfully vindicated as the team continued to decline until, last season, the once championship-ready team become the worst team in the NBA.

But I didn't have to witness this whole descent, as, due to the work thing, I didn't have the time to watch games anymore. I'd just catch the occasional headline, hear people talking (with shaking heads) at the office. I had left basketball, my greatest love, behind. There was a time when I could tell you what was going on with every team in the league, and probably tell you things about your own team that YOU didn't even know. The best weekend of my year was the NBA All-Star Weekend, where I'd stay glued to the set for all three days of festivities. I'd even take the day off work on the day of the NBA draft. I was a junkie. And yet, I didn't so much kick my monkey as let my monkey slip away from me.

This season, I told myself it was time to get the monkey back. Or least hang out with it more.

Not having a job means no excuses as far as time. And not having a winning team is no excuse to not be a fan. I've never seen myself as one of those fans. It was never about the final score for me. I was there for the joy of the game, to watch the passing, the rebounds, the defense. I knew every one of my Kings in complete detail back in my day, their strengths and their weaknesses - cheering when a player did something outside his normal skill set, groaning when another tried to take a shot that I knew (better, apparently, than that player) was just NOT his kind of shot. It was all in the details for me. If my guys were winning? So much the better. But I never booed them when they lost. I felt like I was in it with them.

And here I am now, returning to the Kings, and have come to realize in the past couple of days just how far I am from where I used to be. I had virtually no idea who was on our team anymore. I had to actually pull up a team roster online and check out and read about the players. And what I could find from my reading was that we now have a very young, very non-superstar team. While I still find myself wondering how we could have let that happen, I find that kind of exciting. It seems a good time for me to step back in, as it feels like I'm doing so at the very beginning of a new team area. This could be good news for them, as the team seemed to have stopped winning AFTER I stopped watching. Hoping to bring my mojo back for the boys.

What excites me most about the new team, though, is the new coach. When I first became a true basketball fan, I had just moved to Phoenix, and the coach of that great Suns team was Sac's latest coach, Paul Westphal. Westphal always impressed me not just for his skill, but because he always came off as such a genuinely nice guy. I've been a fan for years, and finding out that he was not only coming back to the NBA but to Sac put a big smile on my face, and raised some hopes for me that this team might have a chance after all.

I don't know the team well enough to discuss the players yet, but after one (very disappointing) opening game, I've already found a favorite player in one of our rookies - Omri Casspi, the first NBA player drafted out of Israel. I love the idea that his nation - like Turkey back when we had Hedo Turkoglu as one of our rooks - is staying up until 2:00 AM to watch Kings games and cheer their national treasure on. Omri, in an otherwise forgettable game, showed some serious skill and coolness under pressure. My eye is on him, for sure. We're going to need bench guys like him to step up, considering our best player - Garcia - is out with injury until mid-season. Some of his teammates are going to need to follow suit.

As for tonight? Things are looking (or, in my case, sounding) better. We're currently in the fourth quarter, and the game is all tied up. This sure beats the 20-point deficits of the opener. Woah! Let's call that a lead, thanks to a three from Nocioni, who's scored 14 points in his 16 minutes. Nice. The other standouts are Kevin Martin (18 points) and our big news rookie, Evans (15 points), and both Brockman and Thompson are lighting it up in their own way with 10 rebounds each. We've got us an exciting back-and-forth game going on between two teams that are each trying to not start their seasons at 0-2. Who will prevail? We'll know in six minutes and twenty-three seconds. I'd hang with you and let you know, but my laptop battery's going to leave you in suspense.

So I'm back with the Kings, and it's good to be home. Here's hoping for a season that'll buck the expectations we managed to set last year (we won 17 games. All season. Ouch). I'll be along the ride, either way. Go Kings.

(The Final) Kings Flashback - Orlando at Kings

2009-10-28T16:29:00.001-07:00

Figured before the first game of this season starts (in a matter of minutes), I might as well post the final of my 2000/2001 Kings game recaps. Consider this my symbolic way of letting go of the past and moving on with the new Kings team. S0, one last time, join me in taking a look back at the Kings of old, and reliving some of that old-school Arco magic. Ironically, AGAINST the Magic...

Orlando at Kings
11/14/00

Unagi.

Hey, I’m right up there with every other sports writer in the country in choosing a lead for this story. Tonight was all about Scot Pollard.

So here I am, all ready for Lawrence Funderburke to step in, to get his first start of this season in place of the still-injured Chris Webber and really shine. And what do I find out when the game starts, and Orlando has pulled into town to try and gum up the works in an impressive Sacramento home series? Rick’s decided to start Scot Pollard at power forward instead. Scot Pollard? As in Vlade’s backup center? Stepping in instead of Chris’ regular backup?

For half a second, I was disappointed. For Fundy. And then I remembered that Scot Pollard is one of my favorite players in the game, and that Rick was actually—I repeat—starting Scot in Webber’s place. That’s some big shoes to fill.

Did I mention that Scot wears size 19 Nikes?

Scottie-Too-Hottie, the Butcher, the Samurai Center, stepped up from the opening whistle, quickly passing his game average in the first quarter, and ended this 96-82 battle with the Magic with a career high of 22 points. Those are Webber-sized numbers, baby, and they came from the team’s goofball. Big fat thumbs up for the man.

Scot’s opening, a reminder that a team star was on the bench with injury, was the story of the night for both teams. Orlando walked in minus recently-snatched superstar Grant Hill back home. Grant’s ankle injury has kept him out of the last six games, and frankly, no one knows when he’s coming back. A tough blow for Orlando, who picked up one the truly great ball players in the sport and had such high hopes this season. But hey…at least the Magic still have their other big star, the powerhouse called Tracy McGrady, right? Well, they did. For the first half of this game.

Tracy went down and injured his hip after posting up 20 points. He was noticeably hobbling, and you could just feel the despair setting down on the city of Orlando. What next? It was tough to see, even for someone like myself who’s supposed to be cheering for the Kings. Hey, I was—have no doubts there. But I really have a fondness for Orlando, and Grant Hill, and the amazing T-Mac. I spent the first half of this game—a blow-for-blow battle up and down the court, two teams playing at equal levels and keeping the score tight—applauding Orlando play as much as I did (okay, that’s pushing it a little) the Kings floor work. T-Mac was putting on quite a show. Doleac, coming off the bench, was really raining fire. Bo Outlaw was everywhere—only 7 points on the game, but 8 big rebounds. But the most jaw-dropping performance of the night had to be coming from Armstrong. Wow. I mean, I’ve known of him before, but tonight, I just became a true fan. What drive, what grace, what lethal accuracy! He played a full 42 minutes (so he never got out of our faces), scoring 22 points with authori-TIE and grabbing 8 rebounds, with 8 assists and a couple of steals. He was practically a one-man team. In the second half, he practically had to be.

But the big love out to Orlando goes to the heroic Tracy McGrady. As I mentioned, he was injured after 20 points, and was hobbling up and down the floor. You know what? He came back out. By choice, limping and in pain, T-Mac came back out in the second half. He was in and out of the rotation, and he only put up one bucket in the final two periods, but he played. Now THAT’s what you like to see in an athlete. Willing to go at it for the team, even when the chips are down and the personal cost is high. That goes for him and the whole team, who played their guts out with a lot of bad luck and tough times hanging over them. They gave us a really great, nerve-wracking game, a real nail-biter nearly all the way. Had love for them before, got even more now. My best wishes for team recovery and better days ahead to all of them, and I look forward to playing them again soon, playing them at full steam and seeing a REALLY serious battle on the court.

And, with all that said…

I love my Kings.

Scot was the big news because of the unexpected performance, but for sheer superstar-in-the-making glory, it was Peja’s night. Peja absolutely (I always feel like using a Vlade accent when I use that word) shined, with 27 points, a career high 11 rebounds, 5 steals and 3 assists. He was outside, he was inside, he was making free-throws, he was gunning the 3’s, slamming it down, cutting and passing and loving every minute of it. It was really his night, and the Sacramento fans couldn’t get enough. It’s a sad thing to think about, but if, in fact, Chris Webber does leave the capital next year (as Jon Barry suggested to Jim Rome that he would. Oh, what a wonderful cleanup job he had to do with the local press after THAT one), the team will certainly not be without a star. Sure, you’d think Jason Williams or Vlade would be that star. But I think at the rate of improvement Peja’s running at, by the end of this season, he’s very likely to be a household name…in households that know more about basketball than the word “Shaq” that is. When it got down to less than two minutes in the game, and Jon Barry had just put up and missed a 3-pointer (don’t worry, he’d made one earlier), players on both teams were just standing still, watching the ball bounce off the rim and start back down…and out of nowhere, the only man, seemingly, in motion, Peja flew in, grabbed the rebound, and slammed it in, picking up a foul along the way. Had to be—what, about his 10th highlight of the evening? Your star is rising, friend Peja. Time to start working on the English lessons a little more, because people are really going to start wanting to hear what you’ve got to say. A star continues to be born.

And speaking of stars, there was Vlade tonight, with another powerful night, taking on a leadership role on the floor and making it all happen. 21 points for the Marlboro Man, 11 rebounds to match Peja (9 of those in defense), and 8 assists. Can this man ever pass! How does someone that big pass so good?! Way to be the captain, Vlade. J-Will had another one of those nights that sportscasters just don’t seem to get. All they can talk about on nights like tonight is that he’s 0 for 5 and put nothing on the scoreboard. How can they continue to miss his role on this team? It’s GREAT when he gets points. I’m all for it. But it’s bonus, not necessity. Jason’s not about getting, folks, he’s about giving. He’s about making it happen for the team as a whole. 8 assists speak to that. And the 3 steals weren’t that bad, either. Give the man a break! He’s helping win these games. As much basketball as these sportscasters watch, you think they’d pick up on the fact that there’s more to the game than just making the buckets. Pretty good night, there, Jason. And I did enjoy the commentary from Greg Poppa (we were catching the TBS feed on this game) pointing out that when Bobby Jackson came in and replaced J for most of the 4th, Jason was Bobby Jackson’s “biggest fan”, sitting on the floor by the bench, cheering Bobby and the other Kings on. Nice reminder that we’ve really got a team that works like a team.

And Bobby was looking great again. 10 points on the night and a couple of steals. Doug? Pretty good effort, with 8 points and 3 steals, still looking solid and really a part of the swing of the Kings. Jon Barry had some home crowd fun, with 7 points and 5 assists (he should really get a commission from his fellow players for making them look so good on those shots they’re making thanks to him). Turk got 4 minutes…pretty early in the game, too…but this just wasn’t his night (for the 1st time in his few showings this year, so I can’t complain). Fundy was in for a little, and didn’t really get a groove on in his 14 minutes, which, again, made me sad, as I was pegging this as his breakout game. And, once again, there was Nick—5 mintues of play, 2 turnovers, 1 missed shot. Okay, don’t get me started on that one. It’s just going to make me sad and cranky. And another game with no Derek. Told you we wouldn’t be seeing much of him this season. And I spotted our “injured” rookie reservist, Jabari Smith, sitting in civvies with Chris on the bench. Wonder if we’ll get to see this kid play this season at all, or if he’s going to be like Ryan Robertson, last year’s donut-fetcher, who only got to play in the last game of the regular season (and make 6 points, if I recall right. Or was it 4)? Hmm. Come to think of it, if we’re going to see him play, that means we’ll probably have to have a couple or three injuries going at once. Maybe you could just keep getting those donuts, Jabari. Don’t think I want to see you play quite THAT bad.

Beautiful game, and even more beautiful is the fact that we just won 5 in a row, baby. That’s now 7-2, putting us a half game behind the Suns for the #1 spot in the pacific. I REALLY want that #1 spot. And what’s standing in our way? The Lakers, Thursday night. On national TV. Can’t decide if I’m nervous or excited. I keep thinking of all those really close-shave match-ups we had with them all last season. And then I think about game 5 of the playoffs. Brrr. Best not to think about that. Think I’ll focus in on the positives, and remember that we really play these guys good, and I think we’re in for one beast of a TNT basketball game. Welcome back to Sac, Kobe. You know…that place you got beat in during the pre-season? History…you may feel free to repeat.

Kings Flashback - Dallas at Kings

2009-10-28T04:34:00.001-07:00

With the new Kings season about to begin, I was reminded that I never finished posting the last of my 2000/2001 Kings game recaps. I started re-posting these last summer on this blog...and "re-posted" isn't quite the word, because these sports write-ups had never been seen anywhere before. An ambitious and fanatical Kings fan, I was putting together my own Kings fan web page, and planned to do my own reports on each and every game of the season. Nice idea, but it didn't last too long, thanks to me having a job and everything (come home late from work, watch the entire game, then sit down and write about it? Worked for a few days, at least...). I wrote a total of nine of them, and seven of them I've already put up here, leaving two entries left of my brief foray into sports writing.

These serve as a nice reminder of how good we had it in the golden days of Kings basketball. This was the season when the big run really started to happen. Already getting famous for our dazzling (if not reckless) offense, this was the year we found ourselves a defense thanks to the addition of Bobby Jackson and Doug Christie. This was also the rookie year for our Turkish newbie, one Hedo Turkoglu. It was the year with the cloud hanging over it, as our big star Chris Webber's contract was up and we didn't know if he'd be staying after the end of the season. And it was another year of the unbelievable Jason Williams causing jaws to drop around the globe with his Houdini floor skills. Times were good. For the team, and for what Sports Illustrated voted as the best fans in the NBA - those cowbell-clanging Kings fans.

For me, these write-ups are a reminder of just how obsessed I was with the Kings, and with basketball, during my time living in San Diego (watching every game via League Pass on cable, and watching them with my roommate and fellow King freak Aaron), and how completely annoying I must have been to everyone around me, because I don't think I talked of much else. Had I been living in Sac, that would have been no problem. In San Diego, land of the Laker fans? Well, there was no one in my life there that didn't know who my team was. Or how I felt about the Lakers...

Those golden days are remembered with bittersweet longing now, but we've still got a team, and our new boys (most of them ARE still boys...) deserve their chance to prove themselves and try for their own piece of NBA history. But as we prepare to cheer them on and dare to dream once more, I thought we'd take moment, the night before the 2009/2010 season officially begins for our Kings, to remember those guys who took us from obscurity (I'm being kind choosing that word) and made our team one that no one in sports could ignore...or ever forget.

Travel with me, if you will, to November of the year 2000, and to another sold-out, floor-shaking night at Arco Arena...

Dallas at Kings
11/12/00

Home sweet home.

The Kings continue to pour it on, holding virtual basketball clinics at Arco (and abroad, when you take the Oaktown trip into account) and dishing out mind-boggling (for being the Kings!) defense, tonight rousting the Mavericks in a stunning 109-84 win.

Once again, it was everyone’s game on the Kings side, with masterful (and show-stopping) passing and highlight-making feeds and jams. I should note that Aaron pulled another one on me tonight, as he was apt to last season. Thanks to our schedules, Aaron often ends up watching the games before I get home to watch the tape, and it’s always tricky business, I’m sure, trying to keep from giving anything away. I checked my cell phone voicemail from work, and there was a message from Aaron, telling me he was cooking up some stir fry, so there’d be leftovers, and mentioning, in an unenthusiastic tone, that he was sort of half-watching the game. Leading me to believe, of course, that the two-game trouncing of Golden State was followed up by a little dose of reality for Sac-Town.

Sneaky SOB.

Dallas was looking good for the first couple of minutes. And that’s all they got. It was all Kings after that. Peja got his stroke back in a big way, tacking up 28 points and shooting 4 of 4 for free throws (finally). There was a great moment when he made his first free throw (which we didn’t really get to see, because all cameras were on coach Don Nelson as he dealt with his technical, trying hard to push the ref into bouncing him), and he got some good-hearted heckling from the bench for finally making one. Peja burst into a goofy laugh, and went on to make his next (thanks, Don!). Peja was everywhere again, looking BEAUTIFUL under the net, receiving some great unselfish passing from his teammates. And no slouch from range, of course, Stojk sunk 4 3-pointers to bring the Arco crowd to its feet again and again.

And it was good news/potential frightening news for Webber. Webber was looking fantastic, with more poster slams and slick moves, leading his team to glory as ever. There was one moment of sheer Kings joy, where Chris missed a free throw, which was pulled down by Vlade, and Vlade—with two Mavs on his back—tossed a slick behind-the-back pass to Webb, who leapt up and slammed down with authority. He put up 23 points and 12 rebounds…

…Before we suddenly saw him, out of nowhere, writhing on the floor in agony.

Webber managed to twist his right ankle badly in the middle of a rebound struggle, and fans were deafened by the sounds of a pin dropping somewhere up in the rafters as Sacramento held its breath. This is absolutely the last thing Sac fans ever want to see, especially in the middle of such a joyous game, and in the middle of such a great season-starting run. Chris was helped to his feet and was able to gingerly walk his way to the locker room. Which is good news. As of tonight, Chris’s status is day-by-day, and we’ll need to wait and see if he’s able to come back for Orlando Tuesday…and, more importantly, for the all-important home game against the Lakers on Thursday.

But let’s look at the bright side. Now, mind you, many fans wouldn’t see a bright side in this, but then many fans aren’t the big Funderburke freak that I am. We all know that with Webb down, Lawrence has to step up and fill his all-star shoes. And me, I see this is a golden opportunity for Fundy to really show his stuff. Not that I want Chris out! Even for one game! But if it has to happen, and with how great Larry’s looking this year, we could really see some great stuff off our oft-overlooked bench gem. If Chris needs a break to heal—and frankly, if it has to happen, it could come at a worse time, as once we get past these next two games, we’ve got six whole nights off for him to rehab—I expect to see number 51 step in and really shock some nay-saying sports writers who would be unanimously predicting a Kings slide without our big star. I think they’re in for a big fecal burger, and if they’d look back on last year, they’d maybe remember that the Kings really lit it up during Chris’s injury period last season. Chris is one of the major components to this team—but it’s still a team, and if anything good can come of something like this, it’s a little reminder to the NBA of just how good the Kings as a whole can be, and how deep our bench is when the call goes out. If Chris is parking in the blue spaces for a bit, keep an eye on Lawrence Funderburke, folks. A star could be born.

Obviously Chris and Peja were the big stars of the game, but if I had to pick a player of the game, my vote would go to Doug Christie. The man who’s leading our born-again defense (eight games in, we’ve still held every team we’ve played to under 50% shooting) was on fire tonight, doing it all. Defense. Passing. Offense. It was a big 13 points for Dougie tonight, and the crowd loved it, believe you me. And his 3 steals kept the slaughter going all through four quarters of Big Kings Love. Did I mention how perfect he fits into the Kings style of basketball? I swear, it’s like he’s been there all along. He was heroic tonight, with a couple of his buckets being beautiful, wild fallaways that had no prayer of going in. Ah, but our resident good Catholic boy has prayer on his side. Glad to have you with us, Doug.

Bobby got some minutes, and 9 points of them, and reminded me again what I love about this guy—his hunger. He’s hungry to play, and the love of the game is written all over his face, and in every charge for a loose ball, and in every made shuffle to stick to his man like glue (like Turko-Glue? New, from Romco!). He got a rest, and Rick gave Derek some time, but not enough to make any real contribution. Vlade may have only had 3 points, but his fingerprints were all over this win, with 7—count ‘em!—assists. His court awareness and teammate-reading resulted in a few of tonight’s big highlights. Give it up for the Flopmaster! Speaking of 7 assists, let’s give a shout out to Jason for living up to his reputation, and continuing his masterful late-start season. 12 points for J-Will, kicking it in with the turbos and making the Mavs look like they were standing still. Pollard was large and in effect again, moshing under the boards for 8 big rebounds and a bucket. Jon Barry got his time, and gave up some glory to help teammates look good (like the picture perfect pass to Lawrence for a big jam), managing a fan-pleasing 3 to further coffin-nail Dallas to the Arco floor. And we talked Funderburke? With Webb back in the locker room, Lawrence gave us what may have been a little preview of the Orlando game, chalking up 14 points in his 16 minutes, shooting 4 of 6 and dead perfect for 6 big free-throw points. Rick put in the rookie again for a few, and Turkoglu brought the bench to their feet with his MIGHTY slam in the 4th.

This was a team effort all the way, and Globetrotter-style crowd-wowing. “Unselfish” was the buzz word tonight. They’re going to be showing the 4-main jet pass sequence on SportsCenter, I guarantee you, a textbook (if the Kings were to write the book) example of fastbreak perfection that left Dallas looking like “Hollywood” in Top Gun (“I said where’d he go? Hollywood said “where’d who goooo?”). The boys are in the ZONE, playing Kings ball like the fans want it, and making it count with the newly-found defensive fire that’s giving us the big “W’s” that didn’t always come after a big performance last year.

And then there’s Nick. This really pains me. He pained me last year, because I so wanted him to be part of the team, and he went cold more times than not. This year, things are almost worse, because he has to come off the bench, and he does so, more often than not, desperate, in my opinion. Our bench goes deep, as I said, and a 1st-round draft pick and former superstar like Nick Anderson shouldn’t be the man in the rotation that can’t make it happen, leaving the rookies and non-stars out-performing him. In his 4 minutes (is that all a star rates?), Nick did pick up 3 rebounds, I’ll admit, but for the most part, he just looked sloppy, picking up a foul and giving away an embarrassing turnover. More and more, Nick is looking like the one man who just doesn’t belong on this team. And I’ll say it again…it pains me. I cheer for him when he steps up, hoping the old Nick from his Orlando glory days will awaken, and will join this journey to victory that we’ve set ourselves on. It hasn’t happened yet. And if something doesn’t happen soon, he’s going to see even more bench time, and will be trying to start over next year on another team. I really don’t want to see that happen. I really want Nick to come along for the ride and be a part of the magic. I’ll keep cheering him. I’ll keep hoping. I’ll keep remembering that amazing 25 point game in the early season last year when he shook off his 2- to 4-point games and finally came into his own again. And I’ll keeping waiting to see that happen again. Plenty of games left in the year, Nick. Let’s make something happen.

Dallas, Dallas, Dallas. Don’t know what was up with them tonight, but they have a lot to think about on their way home. Way too much clunk and little if any defense. I’m a huge Finley fan and always love to watch him play, but his 12 points went almost unnoticed tonight. Irk Nowitzki (a little tag from Aaron’s friend Jody, by the way. “Irk”…as in, no “D”) was about the only one bringing any fear with his big 16 (and “big” describes him in just about every way). Laettner (I forgot about his move to Dallas…) made a pretty good showing, tying Finley’s 12. Their bench was actually pretty impressive, outperforming ours and putting a little fear of Texas in us for a while, mainly from Davis and Buckner (11 and 10, respectively). But it was too little, and really much too late. The Kings owned the Mavs tonight, as they have most the last few games against this franchise, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. We need these home games to buff up our record before any of the big road runs upcoming. Home is where we’re going to have to shine if we’re going to improve our standing in the playoffs this year, and so far, we’re off to an amazing start. Arco regulars and long-distance digital League-Passers alike are getting their money’s worth with interest, and we can only hope this stretch can continue, and be indicative of what we’ve got to offer in the months to come.

Now we all start checking the web reports on the Webb, and wait anxiously to see what our hero, maybe our hero for the last season, can do to recoup and get back in game. Godspeed, Webb. The Lakers are waiting for you. And you know how I hate to disappoint a Team of Destiny ™.

Hey, and some NBA news, by the way. Philly’s now 7-0 on the season, and looking like the team to fear. Atlanta, meanwhile, is balancing them nicely at 0-7. You’d think they were playing football in San Diego or something. Cleveland’s looking solid, too, at 5-1. Byron Scott’s New Jersey Nets just beat the living CRAP out of the struggling Sonics last night, 126 to 91. San Antonio—the team tied for my coveted “2nd favorite NBA Team” award with the Suns—dropped one to Dallas a couple of nights back, but are still looking great at 5-2. Did I say Suns? Guess who’s leading the Pacific Division at 6-1 (oddly, losing their only game this year to Golden State), just one game ahead of YOUR Sacramento Kings. The Pacific’s going to be the division to watch again this year. Let’s see if the 3-3 Lakers can wake up and smell the destiny and get back in the race.

Help for Vanessa

2009-10-15T16:41:00.000-07:00

For my birthday, I'm asking for a gift for someone else.

On the morning of September 27, Vanessa Teeters was involved in a terrible car accident in Las Vegas. Those of you who've known me for a long time may know my cousins - Melissa, Melinda and Paul, who all attended the Academy for a time. Vanessa is Paul's daughter by marriage. I've known her since she was just a young girl. She moved off to Las Vegas some time ago.

This was a rollover accident, and Vanessa was ejected from the vehicle. Her back was, essentially, crushed. While she survived, Vanessa is now in the hospital, on her second surgery, and is paralyzed from the waist down. Such news is devastating enough, but hurts more for such a young, beautiful girl in the prime of her life.

Particularly one with no medical insurance.

Obviously we can't do too much about the bigger costs, but an immediate concern is trying to get her transferred home to Sacramento, to UCD Med Center. There's apparently some cost involved in this, and funds the family doesn't have.

There's a fundraiser going on this Saturday, October 17th, between 2:00pm and 8:00pm at a bar in Roseville called Trocadero. I plan to be there around 6:00pm. This is the day before my birthday. So if anyone wants to drop in, wish me a happy birthday and have a drink or two, and give a little something to the Vanessa fund, I'd really love to see you there.

Trocadero

314 Lincoln St, Roseville, CA

(916) 783-7892 ‎

If you can't make it there, but would still like to offer your support, there are a couple of ways. There's a donation account set up for Vanessa at SAFE Credit Union. The account number is 451636. Any local Sac people can drop into any SAFE location (such as the one at 3720 Madison Avenue in North Highlands) and make a donation, but you will need to have the account number on you to do so.

Or, as an alternative, you can go to PayPal and punch in my email address (oconnellmd@aol.com) and make a donation, and I'll get the money over to Paul to add to the fund.

If you can make it, I'd love to see all of you there, and seeing everyone would be the best birthday gift I could imagine. My family would really appreciate the help, too. Thank you all. And please...drive safe.

Stormy Sactown

2009-10-13T21:05:00.000-07:00

Figured I should get a blog in while I still have power.

Autumn tends to drop like a hammer here in Sacramento and squash the remains of the extended summers we have. Such was the case today, for sure. We've been having clear skies and sunshine, with lots of warm weather, and particularly spring-like these past couple of weeks, hitting highs only in the 70s and 80s (where we were 90s and triple-digits just before the cooling trend began). But today, it's time to pay our dues.

The storm has come.

I was out on the patio last night, late, when the winds first began, and the force of them started to get pretty frightening. I kept waiting for trees to start going over. I got to sleep, and by the time I woke up today, we had a full-on storm raging. Heavy rains, 40 mph winds. And wouldn't you know it, today was the day I absolutely had to go out and hit and ATM machine for a deposit I had to do. Staying home, as much as I'd have preferred it, was not an option. So I put my positive-attitude gears in motion, decided not to whine about going out into it, and decided to look at it as an adventure.

I'd been hearing the storm blowing outside, but didn't really appreciate it until I opened my front door. Immediately, I could see downed branches all over the complex. I could seen rain blowing sideways in the winds. And, my favorite part (always) - I could see that the walkway in front of my building was, as it always is during heavy rainfall, totally flooded. Greeeat. This is loads of fun with my wheelchair situation. I can only use my left arm to wheel myself (right arm, locked at 90 degrees as it is, can't reach). So I end up using that left arm for some propulsion, but also use my feet, and they do most of the steering. The flooding problem means that if I put my feet down, they're going to be underwater (it gets that deep). And I can't steer/move forward with just the arm.

So I did my best. I could getting a fast-rolling start, but I still have to make the sharp left turn to head toward my van, so momentum wasn't going to do much good. I tried to do what I could with the arm, and tried to use just the heel of my left foot in the water to minimize shoe soakage. But soakage there was. Add to this having to fight against the ridiculous wind. On this first part of my journey, I was dumb enough, too, to try to use my umbrella. As soon as I straightened myself out, I got hit with a massive gust that nearly took away both my umbrella and my Kings cap. But I managed to get through the water, and to get to/into the van without getting TOO wet. But it was ugly out there, believe me. But I told myself it was just a quick trip to the bank, so I'd be home before I knew it.

I got to the Wells Fargo, and the storm had gotten even worse. While sitting there parked, the van was getting rocked back and forth, and I started to wonder if I was going to get tipped over. I knew the umbrella wasn't a good idea, so I left it and pulled the hood up on my favorite Kings hoodie instead, opened the doors, and rode the lift down in the rain. I rolled quickly to the small (almost useless at this point) overhang at the bank and tried to use my remote control to raise the lift and close the doors back up, but my battery's low, and the range ain't great, so the snickering universe was making me roll juuuust far enough out where the rain would be coming down on me as I waited for the van to seal up.

I had just finished that, and had just turned toward the ATM machines, when the boom happened.

I saw the flash out of the corner of my eye, and with it came a sound like a cannon going off right next to me. It was so loud that, immediately, car alarms in the parking lot started going off. I'd never been that close to a transformer blowing before. It's quite a sight...and a sound.

And guess what that blown transformer meant? As I feared, I rolled up to the ATM machine, and the power was now out. So I'd left my nice, dry, warm home to come out into this mess because I HAD to use the ATM machine. And then when I got just a few feet from it, the block lost power, and I could therefore NOT use the ATM machine. Again...universe snickering.

Part of me thought about going into the bank, but I quickly put together that they didn't have any power INSIDE now, either, so there wouldn't be anything they could do in there for me. As in answer to my thought, someone ran up and tried to go in, but the bank manager opened the door and advised the woman that due to the power being out, they're not allowed to let anyone into the bank, for security reasons.

Fighting the wind and rain again, I waited the excrutiatingly long time for the lift to come back down so I could sit on it, getting drenched, as it just as slowly carried me back up. I got in the driver's seat and waited for a few minutes, trying to calculate how long it would be before power could be expected to return there, and watched as a number of people ran up to the ATM, did the confused, indignant huffing at its non-operation, and tried to get into the bank, only to be turned away by the manager. The answer to the "how long it would be" question was pretty obvious, of course...too long to bother waiting around. So I started the van up, drove across Carmichael (dodging fallen branches and flooded-out areas on the streets along the way) and headed for the Bel-Air where I often use the Wells ATM inside.

They, thankfully, still had power. But the rain got gotten even worse, and there was no protection to be had from it here. Just had to sit and take it for the lift ride, and put up with it blowing into my face as I waited for the doors to close back up. I hurried inside, fearing that another power outage (and another universal gag) might follow me, and handled my deposit. Whew. With one more umbrella-less lift ride, I'd turned into quite the sponge. The sponge headed home.

Back at my place, the wind seemed to have died down a little, though the rain hadn't, so I decided to risk the umbrella again, holding it tightly as I disembarked and headed for my apartment. Now I had to deal with the walkway flood again, but this time, as I'd hoped, the wind was on my side. I actually did a little better on distance by using the umbrella as a sail, the wind blowing from behind me and all, and it helped pull me along through the water. That did good to get me to the right turn to my front door, but the turn itself ended up requiring both feet, so my shoes got fully sogged.

With all my clothes drenched, and me paranoid about getting sick right now, I went ahead and got into a hot shower. After, while I was sad not to be able to use the hoodie that I all but live in right now, I switched over to my warm Kings pullover that I haven't worn in quite some time. And switched to an alternate pair of (dry) shoes to go with some dry socks. All this just to hit an ATM machine. No wonder I stay home as much as I do.

The storming seems to have died down quite a bit, but it's due to be with us the rest of the night and through tomorrow. My hope as that I won't have to deal with any power outage (and the boredom that comes with it) here at home, and I really don't want a repeat of big several-day blackout from a couple of years back (which led to several days of whiny blogging from me, where you'd have thought that I was the last survivor after a nuclear holocaust or something). But I've got my flashlights and candles all ready, just in case. For now, just happy to be warm and dry, and happy that I shouldn't need to worry about going anywhere else for a couple of days.

Sorry to see you go, summer. I'll miss you. But let's get together next year, shall we? Trust me, my feelings for you will have grown even stronger.

No, seriously...motorists, watch for bicycles.

2009-09-14T02:07:00.000-07:00

I was leaving my apartment on Saturday, ready to go off and do some shopping. I wanted to check my mail first, so I wheeled myself right at the end of my building. As I did, I could hear a loud, idle engine behind me, which would have been toward the driveway leaving my complex. It sounded quite large. A moving truck? A garbage truck? Whatever it was, I wondered if it might be blocking my way out to the street, but I figured I'd look and see on my way back with the mail.

No mail in the box, so I headed back that way, and found the the engine I heard belonged to a fire truck. It was sitting directly across from my driveway, blocking lane 1 (the left lane) of southbound Garfield Avenue. Cones were down, closing lane 1 behind in front of it, so southbound traffic was cut down to just one lane - lane 2, the closest to my driveway. I could also see that there were cones across the middle cement divider, blocking northbound Garfield's lane 1 as well.

Had their been an accident without my hearing it? My apartment is right next to the driveway, so that seemed odd. It must have happened, I figured, while I was in the shower. To get a better picture of what was happening, and to see if I should even bother trying to get my van out onto the street, I rolled up the walkway beside the driveway; it stays level as the driveway drops down a hill, so going to the end of the walkway would give me a slight overlook on the whole thing. As I approached, I noticed other people standing on the sidewalk on Garfield, watching the scene...and could see the same on the other side of the street, where the other, more populous, complex is.

I stopped behind some hedges and looked down, and could see the firetruck with two firemen sitting on its front bumper. Ahead of them, I spotted a group of about five CHP (California Highway Patrol, for those of you out of state) officers standing on the center divide a ways ahead of the truck, talking amongst themselves. I didn't see any wrecked cars around, but I quickly spotted something that always puts a chill down your spine at one of these scenes.

A bicycle.

The bike, bent up a bit, was laying on its side near the officers on northbound Garfield's lane 1. I looked around for an ambulance, but saw none. I assumed that meant the ambulance had already come and taken the rider away, and I hoped that he, or she, was all right. The officers were laughing as they talked, so I hoped that was a good sign. I rolled forward to get a better look southbound, to see if the inevitable auto involved was parked there, and I could, yes, see one just ahead, with another vehicle stopped ahead of it and some people standing around.

As I'd rolled forward, my eyes had caught something on the street, in my side's lane 1, right next to the center curb. It was yellow and long, but something about the fact that no one seemed to be around it, or be too concerned about it, made me skip right over it and look for the car. As I continued trying to put together what happened (old claims adjuster habit), my eyes went back to it. It occurred to me, then, what it was, but I didn't believe that first thought right away. Then it became clear my first thought was right. I was looking at a yellow police tarp.

And it was covering a dead body.

It still didn't make sense for a moment, considering the casual, seemingly jovial nature of the officers there, but a further look around the scene showed me two shoes, a ways from each other, on the street near the firetruck, each with orange chalk marks around them. Bike, shoes, no ambulance, yellow tarp - yeah. Dead body. There'd been a fatal motorist vs. bicycle accident right in front of my home. And the victim of that accident was laying out in the street, under the sun, with cars slowly driving right by it in the one open lane, and with no one in charge bothering to stand there with it.

I felt terrible, and had that sinking "oh no" tingle of sadness in the chest, but I wasn't shocked. At my age, I've seen a number of dead bodies in my life. And thirteen years in the auto claims business means that this kind of thing has been part of my life for a long time, and I've seen plenty of scene photos like this one. And, as always, my very first thought was of the family member or spouse that's going to get that phone call and find out that person who went out for a ride is never coming home. I know those people well. I've had to talk to them many times, in different stages of the emotional process. My later claims years got easier, as I moved into vehicle total losses, which meant there were often a few days between the loss and the claim getting to my desk. In my earlier, front-line days, I'd get them on the phone a day or two after it happened, if I was lucky - the same day if I wasn't. Sometimes I even got the call right from the scene. Awful stuff to deal with, but I always remained kind but calm, professional but understanding, trying to be the strength for them that they had no earthly reason to have themselves at a moment like that.

A photographer was speaking to the police, his camera and its long protruding lens in his hand, and he, too, was laughing. One has to understand, I suppose, that when you do this kind of thing day in and day out, and see all this tragedy, you have to shut yourself off to it or you'll go a little insane. But still...just from a strictly P.R. angle? Is joking it up around the gathered pedestrians and slowly passing cars really sending the right message to the public? I would think there must be some way to remain detached without seeming callous and disrespectful and the seemingly forgotten corpse.

A tow truck pulled up and went passed me, pulling up behind the auto that seemed to have been the cause. Obviously, in a collision between car and bike, the car's not going to have a lot of damage, but in cases where a fatality is involved like this, the police have to take the vehicle. It's going to be in storage for a while, I can tell you that. The truck stopped with its rear slightly in front of my driveway, and that was going to make me pulling out difficult. Not impossible, but difficult. I was on a schedule to make it somewhere before it closed, but it wasn't so big a need that I wanted to maneuver my van around the truck while trying to keep my distance from the yellow tarp. I know enough of these things to know you don't leave a body out of full view for that long, and it had been a while now, so I figured the coroner van must be on the way. So I decided to wait it out.

And with this, I made the decision to stay where I was and verify it was clear before I headed to the van. The last thing you ever want to be is one of those people that gather around an accident scene and stare, and I was tempted, for this reason, to go back inside. But in the end, the (former, but hopefully not for long) claims adjuster in me won out, and I felt that I should remain and watch the process. When you do phone claims, you don't always get the full picture of what happens at the scene itself. If it wasn't such a ghoulish thought, I'd think that claims adjusters should be required to go to accident scenes as part of their training, so that they'd know not only how the steps go (to help with their investigation), but to see what those involved go through, to be able to properly understand them when you've got them on the line.

So I stayed, keeping up on my hill, at my respectful distance, and quietly waited behind the hedges.

Other neighbors of mine were NOT so respectful.

I spotted the woman I see leaving for work at 5am each day (if I'm out here at 5, which I often am), standing there with her husband or boyfriend. And I was dumbstruck to see that there were binoculars in his hand. And he used them. He would use them to watch the car down the way (which I didn't have a clear view of, so I didn't know if some juicy bit of wailing guilt was going on for his amusement), and would then use them - yes - on the body. We were 150 feet from a dead body, and he had the nerve to use binoculars to get a better view of it.

Across the street, by the low-rent complex, groupings of watchers were gathered. One stood out. He was a man with a video camera. He never stood still for long. He kept walking quickly up and down the sidewalk to get better angles.

Below me, a woman in shorts and a tank top came plodding up, dragging a child of maybe seven with her, anxious to get a closer look. And she got one. I'm not a parent of course, but really, is pulling your child up to get a nice clear view of the dead person the best idea? My neighbors were making me ill. But, at the same time, I realized I was still there watching, too, so I supposed I didn't have much of a soapbox to stand on (or sit on, in my case). I liked to think there was a difference between observing and gawking like it's a spring break wet tee shirt contest.

Soon a car pulled up on the northbound side and came to a quick stop, parking on the sidewalk. A man and a woman got out, both looking anxious, but not grief-stricken, so I put together that they weren't related to the victim, but likely to the other driver, who'd likely called them. The spot where they parked put them in a straight diagonal line to the soon-t0-be-towed car across the street - with the body between them and it. They checked for traffic, walked quickly across the lane to the divider, and didn't even seem to pay attention to the body that they looked close enough to trip over. They paid it no mind at all, didn't even give it a wide berth as they passed. This made me even angrier, and increasingly agitated the no one without a video camera or binoculars even seemed to notice it was there. It occurred to me, having that thought, that this person was no longer a "he" or a "she". In one unlucky second, "he" or "she" had transformed into an "it".

After a while a saw the man coming back across, heading for his car. And once more, he all but stepped on the body. This time, I was happy to see, an officer turned and saw him and made a "come on..." gesture of disbelief and said something to the man. I didn't hear the words, but I hope they were terse ones. That man didn't seem to understand what he was being chastised for. Moments later the woman he'd come with reappeared with an older woman. I assumed that was the driver, imagining that she'd called her daughter and son-in-law, who'd come to drive her home since she no longer had a car. They all got in the parked car together.

At this moment, the tow truck started and pulled out into the lane, clearly going to get itself in front of the car to set up the tow. The man with the video camera all but ran down that way, stopping when he was directly across and filming again. My neighbor with the binoculars zoomed in on the scene as well. The police photographer (or someone who works with the police, as he wore no uniform) joined up with with a second photographer, who pulled up in her car. They talked. They smiled. They laughed. They started taking shots of the scene and the covered body.

After a few more minutes, the coroner's van finally arrived, pulling in front of the body and backing up to it. The workers got out, putting on their gloves. The police, and the photographers, headed for that spot. After a few moments of them chatting, one of the officers looked around at all the gathered spectators. He didn't just look, but seemed to glare, and I felt that was more than appropriate for all of us. He called the fireman over and said something to them, and they quickly headed back to their truck. They pulled it over the divider, to the north side, and lined it up to block the view of the body from the folks on that side of the street. The same officer made a motion to someone out of my range of sight, and a CHP motorcycle appeared, parking just behind the body, blocking the view from behind. The officer then produced a sheet from his waiting car, and a couple of officers unraveled it, stretched it out and held it up, the final wall to cover up what was about to happen. It mostly worked, but not completely.

While all this was going on, the guy with the video camera had dashed across the street to my side and run up to our driveway, the nearest vantage to the scene, and was getting lined up for the camera shot. The same indignant officer as before spotted that, turned and started walking toward him, and started making a clear "cut it" slashing motion across his throat. This time I could hear his words. "No. This is not happening for your entertainment or for you to film. Shut it off". The man obeyed, slowly, taking his small camera and making an overly-done gesture of putting it back in its leather case. The officer just shook his head at him and went back to his duty.

Through the opening between the sheet and the motorcycle, you could still see part of the body. They removed the tarp. I could make out a man's chest and a shoulder. Shirtless. Whether he was shirtless at the time of the collision or became that way after, I have no way to know. The photographers took their shots. An arm was lifted, and the body rolled. They were soon finished, and one of the coroners started pulling a gurney and blankets out of the van while another, with a plastic bag in hand, went to collect the body's missing shoes. They wrapped and lifted the body and strapped it to the gurney, and the sheet was put away. They loaded the last of this man (young man? Old man? I don't even know) into the van.

Seeing that their van was pulling away, I went to mine.

With that done, and the tow truck already having left, I had a clear exit. I carefully made my right turn as on officer picked up and moved the broken bicycle. As I straightened out on Garfield, I saw that there was a spray of wet, soapy water across both lanes, from the center divider to the sidewalk. That's where, of course, they'd had to hose the blood away. There was no way around it. I had to drive over it, and that, I think, was the most sobering part of this for me. The rest had been just seeing the accident's aftermath. This was physically touching a part of it. I drove away, solemnly, wondering who that bike rider had been, if he'd even been identified yet, and who of his loved ones was going to be receiving the call that night. And which unfortunate adjuster was going to get the call to handle the necessary claim details.

I came home later that night, with all evidence of the incident now gone, save for some orange chalk-marks on the road that traffic would soon dispose of. I went inside and tried to search the web - would there be any details yet? Anything on the CHP site? I found nothing. Later that night, just before sunrise, I checked again. No Sacramento news sites had reported anything about it. It just seemed like they should have. It was important. A man died in front of my home that day. And he lay there lifeless as police and firemen and photographers laughed, and as locals gawked and filmed.

As of tonight, still no news. I don't know who he was, or what happened. The adjuster in me, again, drives me to know. I need to see the incident in my head, find out where the other car came from, know if the auto was at fault or if the bicycle made an erratic last-minute turn that not only ended his universe but forever changed the life of the woman behind the wheel. I'm not looking to blame. Claims isn't about blame. Liability, yes, but not about blame. We don't make moral judgments. Just legal ones. It's not something I currently do for a living, but the old muscles are still there. And I guess, more than anything, I just want it to make sense. I guess I still have this superstitious belief that if, somehow, the reason behind a tragedy like this is known, we (on the assumption of some kind of collective unconscious, where my understanding somehow transmits to all of mankind) can learn from it and somehow keep it from happening again in the future.

But we won't. It will keep happening. As long as we have cars, and as long as we're behind the wheel of them. And long as these things are true, there will always be a need for my chosen profession.

A profession that's already telling me to get the facts, put it behind me, and move on.

But while I can't reach all of mankind through some kind of new age transference, I can at least speak to those reading this blog. I don't need all the facts to remind us all of this - watch for bicyclists, always. You won't much care if they were the one at fault or not when you're left knowing that it was your car that ended someone's life. Let's all keep a closer lookout for them this week, okay?

Late Night Bikini Drama

2009-08-31T03:16:00.000-07:00

3:00 AM. I'm out on the patio after a night out drinking with A.T. at Slingshots. He headed home, I had dinner and finished a movie ("Burn After Reading", a film that should have been titled "Burn Before Watching"), took care of some things inside, then came out to do some writing.

I hear voices from behind me, and suddenly CGWI is standing next to my patio.

In a bikini.

I turn, and I see her roommate (also in a bikini) behind her, along with a dude. If not for the dude, this story would not be a blog entry, but a letter to a long-standing men's publication.

She asks me if it's going to bother me if they get in the hot tub. I say not at all. She explains that the landlady has been keeping a close eye on her, giving her trouble (one wonders why), and I assume she's well aware that no one's supposed to be in the pool area after 10:00 PM. I say it's fine with me. She thanks me, they go get in the hot tub. All seem quite tipsy, but hey, so was I a couple of hours ago. Fair's fair. I write onward, working on some new possible track names to contribute to Geoff Liver and his Space Orchestra's in-production album (don't ask). CGWI's cell phone goes off a couple of times over there, which I know because she has a music ring tone and it's turned up loud enough to wake both the King of Pop and Farrah Fawcett-Majors.

Soon the roommate comes back through the gate, says thank you to me (for what? Who made me Lord of the Hot Tub? Her roommate's dad OWNS the place) and good night, and heads back to their apartment. After just a couple of minutes, I hear her calling down to CGWI and the dude. I don't make out all of it, but I get "You guys...we're in so much trouble...cops...". Er?

CGWI and the dude come back out and head back to the apartment. I wait to see if any cops come up. None do. I can only assume, by deduction, that maybe the landlady called the apartment and told them to get out of the tub or she was going to call the cops? Hard to say. Why would she call the apartment if she knew they were in the hot tub? Unless, as I've long suspected, she has hidden cameras in all the apartments and saw the roommate stroll back in.

Regardless, it appears there's more demerits in CGWI's column on the landlady's death list. But is it a fight an otherwise power-mad apartment manager can win when trumped by the might of nepotism?

Stay tuned...

P.S. It's nice, at least, to be asked. That's a merit checked off on her column on MY list for courtesy. And courtesy goes a lot further when delivered in a bikini.

Your Internet Lesson of the Day

2009-08-26T17:59:00.000-07:00

I got this email today.

FROM: lumberjacksn@inimplast.com.br
TO: oconnellma@aol.com

SUBJECT: Thank you for settling the order No.75111511

Dear Customer!

Thank you for ordering at our internet store.
Your order: Nokia 5800 XpressMusic, was sent at your address.
The tracking number of your postal parcel is indicated in the document attached to this letter.
Please, print out the postal label for receiving the parcel.

Internet Store.
Firstbatteries.com

ATTACHED FILE: D04f5fbec.mim

Oh, no! Something's wrong! I don't remember ordering any item! There must be some mistake! Am I being billed?! I'd best open this attached file right away and find out what's going on!

Okay...

There are people out there, all over the world, looking to rip you off, hijack your computer, or, hell, just wipe out your computer just for the fun of it. This is one of the ways they do it. And they count on people not thinking and just opening the file out of panic or curiosity. Then the deed is done, and you're eight ways screwed.

First off, look at the email address this one's coming from. It has a .br extension. This means it's from a web site in Brazil. For once, it's not out of Africa, at least. Nice to see South America getting it on the fun.

Second, my email address is one letter off. How this actually works, I'm not really sure, but it tends to lead you to think you accidentally got someone else's email...all the more reason to open the file, either to help them out or try to steal whatever item they ordered yourself!

Note the subject line. "Thank you for settling the order". Who talks like that? Answer - people that do NOT speak English as a first language. Bad spelling, grammar, or just awkward phrasing is another clue you're being spamulated.

"Dear Customer!": Just "customer", not me by name. Plus, an exclamation point after it? Again...English as a second language. "Thank you for ordering at our internet store". THAT's working the brand name, guys. Generic = suspicious. "Your order: Nokia 5800 XpressMusic, was sent at your address." It was sent AT my address, not TO my address? Do I handle the company's shipping now? "The tracking number of your postal parcel is indicated in the document attached to this letter". Letter? It's an email. Ass. "Please, print out the postal label for receiving the parcel." Oh, I'll open that RIGHT away, as I'm sure that will give me all the info I need to clear up this misunderstanding! Plus - "parcel", not "package". And it's signed "Internet Store" (there's that catchy store name again). And we finally get a site name: Firstbatteries.com, which I will NOT be browsing out of curiosity, as it's probably set up to shoot all manner of spyware at me the minute I do.

And the attached file. First...IT'S AN ATTACHED FILE. Never open those if they're not coming from someone you know, and even then, maybe not. This one's a .mim file, which is a generic internet format that, in essence, hides what kind of files, and how many files, are attached. If I downloaded that and opened it, I guarantee I could kiss either my computer or my bank account good-bye. Or at least I'd be changing internet passwords 'til spring.

These emails come in all forms. I get regular ones that look like they're coming from PayPal, telling me my account is being shut down unless I click the attached link and clear up "the problem". This link will, I assure you, go to a very PayPal-looking site that asks me to punch in my username and password. Cha-ching! It's Christmas Eve in Nigeria! I get them from banks or alleged banks, where they talk about a problem with your account. Even if you DON'T have an account with this bank (I get BofA ones all the time, and I have no account there), people are still concerned and curious enough to click the link or open the file...you know, just in case they FORGOT about an account they opened up.

Evil men across the globe are out to rip you off or just mess with your life. At this point in time, legally, there's little that can be done about them. All you can do is negate their expectation of you being dumb...by not being dumb. If it looks hokey, it is. Just delete it. Never click a link, never open an attached file. It's 2009 so we should all know this, but based on the fact that so many of these are still flying around, clearly people are falling for it, or they would have stopped long ago.

Don't be that guy!

Of Lawn Chairs and Crazy Neighbors

2009-08-25T15:43:00.000-07:00

Most of us haven't been lucky enough to get to this point in our lives without dealing with some kind of neighbor drama. Either it's an issue over parking, over loud parties, maybe a tree growing over a fence, whatever. Sometimes these are just annoying, sometimes they get really ugly. But few of us have had the joy of dealing with the outright crazy neighbor...like, in this case, one who feels a pair of lawn chairs are an eyesore that "obstruct his view" from his bedroom window. And one who plans to take legal action if the situation is not remedied.

The email exchanges regarding this are quite entertaining. Click on the images to see them full-sized for easier reading.

Thanks to the folks at emailsfromcrazypeople.com for sharing.

Favorite Movies Scenes (I can think of right now)

2009-08-21T03:10:00.001-07:00

Just up doing some late night writing, watched a couple of great films the past couple of days, got my mind on movies and those scenes that never quite leave me. Movies can be judged and analyzed and rated as a whole, but it's those scenes - those particular moments - that stand out in your memory and become your emotional anchor to them. I have far too many favorites to remember or mention tonight, so I just feel like hitting a few.

And this isn't going to be very informative, because I also don't want to give out any spoilers. But hopefully you've seen a few of these and can back me up. Or, if not, maybe you'll consider giving some of these films a try.

"COLLATERAL" - JAMIE FOXX IN THE HISPANIC BAR. Just finished my first re-watch of this Michael Mann masterpiece in a long time tonight, so it's on my mind. So many amazing scenes. The first is the cab ride with Jamie and Jada Pinkett Smith, a brilliantly understated but poignant human moment. There's the fantastic moment of unexpected connection when Tom Cruise gets Jamie's dispatcher on the radio and completely upturns our expectations about his character. And there is, of course, the coyote. But the scene with Jamie in the bar, going in solo? Clock ticking, everything on the line, having no idea if he can pull this off? THAT was magic.

"WANTED" - THE KISS. Another film with plenty of scenes to nominate, from the great walk-out of the office to the spectacular slo-mo factory run. But you can't be a guy and NOT dial in on the whole scene with the kiss. Daaaamn.

"JAWS" - SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME. Three men, all from different worlds, drinking together, comparing scars (Roy Scheider and his appendectomy one...brilliant!), comparing stories, with the remarkable Robert Shaw telling the tale of the fate of the Indianapolis that found us all holding our breath as he did, and the singing of the old sea shanty as the men finally bond. Spielberg, if they had an Oscar category for "Most Magnificent Bastard", you'd have a whole case filled with them.

"ANY GIVEN SUNDAY" - COMANCHE. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. Thank you, Oliver Stone, for showing love for the game, not turning it into some kind of big fascist metaphor conspiracy.

"COPLAND" - STALLONE WALKS ALONE. Man-tears are a strong possibility for any red-blooded male lucky enough to have seen this scene, and to have sat, dumbfounded in wonder, at the unexpected return of Stallone as an actor. I can't hear you, Ray...

"HEAT" - TIE: THE WHOLE DAMNED SHOOTOUT AND THE KILMER/JUDD "WAVE". Many reasons to count Pacino in for this, but for me, it's all about the most glorious use of bullets in the history of cinema, and that heartbreaking moment with Ashley Judd giving Val Kilmer "the wave". Something about the way it was shot, the choice of music...it was devastating.

"THE BEST OF TIMES" - THE FINALE. I dare you not to shed a tear. I dare ya!!

"MAGNOLIA" - THE "SEDUCE AND DESTROY" SEMINAR. Say what you want about Tom Cruise. Then watch this scene. Respect the c***, folks.

"BOOGIE NIGHTS" - THE NIGHT RANGER COKE DEAL. You might be picking something involving Roller Girl, and who could blame you? Me? I'm going for the delicious insanity of that whole scene at Alfred Molina's house. The 80s music. The firecrackers. The tension. The long, long, long tight shot on Mark Wahlberg's face, and the lifetime being projected from behind his eyes, the final confirmation that, holy crap, Marky Mark CAN act! Motorin'...!

"BOONDOCK SAINTS" - "THERE WAS A FIRE-FIGHT!!". Willem, Willem, Willem. You are still the master.

"THE PROFESSIONAL" - THE FINAL ASSAULT. Excuse me...I think I have something in my eye...(sniff).

"STAR TREK II" - THE NEEDS OF THE MANY. Oh, screw you, you cried like a little girl, too.

"BREAKING AWAY" - THE LITTLE 500. Go, you Cutter, go!! Dennis Christopher, where did you GO after this?! We've missed you. One of the greatest coming-of-age films ever made. And it came from the 70s. Go figure.

"JACKIE BROWN" - "ALL I ASKED WAS FOR YOU TO BE BEAUTIFUL...". Tarantino made his first grown-up movie (thanks, of course, to the Elmore Leonard source material), and it was a moving experience for me. One of its most poignant moments was the Sam Jackson/Bobby DeNiro van moment. But I'd be wrong to not recognize the closing as well. Across 110th Street is a hell of a tester...

"PULP FICTION" - "BUT I'M TRYING, RINGO. I'M TRYING REAL HARD TO BE A SHEPHERD". Yes, first Sam Jackson broke our concentration, but it was in this moment when he became a superstar.

"THE COWBOYS" - THE JOHN WAYNE SURPRISE. Let's...sniff...let's just move on, okay?

"EMPIRE OF THE SUN" - "P-51! CADILLAC OF THE SKY!!!". Before Christian Bale started being done with people (professionally), he blew us all away with this childhood role, and this transcendent moment in American cinema.

"SWINGERS" - THE DANCE. With this, he knows what to do with the bunny. Who's the big winner? Mikey wins.

"JERRY MAGUIRE" - THE MISSION STATEMENT. The scene that made us all reevaluate our lives and our place in the world. Yeah, okay, there's that whole Cuba Gooding moment, too...

"THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT" - SAM JACKSON BEHIND THE WHEEL. Yeah, Sam Jackson again. A moment of pure redemption, a lifelong loser's moment of heroism. Chefs do that.

"LORD OF THE RINGS - THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING" - THE BATTLE IN THE WOODS. A handful of men against an army, and damned if they didn't make us believe they could pull it off. One of the most brilliant action scenes on record. Close enough to be a tie? "Fly, you fools!"

"LORD OF THE RINGS - THE TWO TOWERS" - HELM'S DEEP. The whole damned thing, but specifically, the ride out to meet the enemy. One of the best WAR scenes every filmed...and it had freakin' orcs in it, for crying out loud!

"SAVING PRIVATE RYAN" - THE FIRST TWENTY MINUTES. One of the most remarkable theater experiences I've ever had, the moment when, after all my years of watching World War II movies, I finally knew what being there was like.

"APOLLO 13" - "IT'S BEEN AN HONOR FLYING WITH YOU GENTLEMEN". "Apollo 13, this is Houston, do you copy?" I now know what it was like when the whole world held its breath, because thanks to Ron Howard, I did, too...

"ST. ELMO'S FIRE" - EMILIO DRIVES AWAY. Say what you want about the movie, but the Kirby Keger/Dale Biberman resolution will make you cheer.

"STEALING HOME" - FLY, JODIE FOSTER, FLY!!! A wonderful forgotten film of the 80s climaxed with an amazing Mark Harmon scene that put the bow on the whole thing. Try this one sometime if you've never seen it.

"THAT THING YOU DO!" - TIE: THE GENESIS SCENE AND THE RADIO SCENE. Maybe not one of the greatest films ever made, but it contains two of my favorite movie scenes of all time, both involving that damned song...

"THE SIXTH SENSE" - THE CAR SCENE. You thought I was going to go for the ending, didn't you? For me, the biggest moment of emotional connection in that film was between Haley Joel Osmont and Toni Collette in the car just BEFORE the ending. Wow.

"UNBREAKABLE" - THE BREAKFAST TABLE. I again challenge you to hold back a tear, in this magnificent scene in a film you either got or you didn't. I hope you did.

This is nowhere near a complete, list, as I said, and it's made up of random late night thoughts when I should be sleeping. But these are some of those scenes that continue to stoke my love of film, of what it can do to us, and what it can be when all the ingredients mix just right. And when that happens? THAT, my friends, is what they call movie magic.

To be continued.

"Boy, you got it made there."

2009-08-16T15:00:00.001-07:00

An older woman I don't know (new neighbor? Visitor?) just left the pool and walked by me on her way back to whatever apartment she came from. While passing, she commented at me, with a smile, "Boy, you got it made there."

Her comment was based, I'm sure, on the fact that I'm relaxing in the shade, lazily reading/writing on my laptop, smoking a cigar and probably looking as relaxed and serene as I feel.

"Yes," I commented back to her, thoughtfully, with a smile. "Yes, I do."

The summer afternoon is right at my perfect level - warm, but not too hot, with the sun not yet shining directly down on my patio, but safely overhead behind the roof. There's a very slight breeze occasionally blowing, and the sky is blue and clear.

I had a good night's sleep last night, which was a rare thing. I got up feeling refreshed, rose and got to some studying I'm doing to prepare for the job interview I have coming up on Tuesday, which is for the exact type of position that has NOT been showing up on want ads for the past six months. I was able to focus and get a good chunk of my reading done without my mind wandering to other things I'd rather be doing, because preparing for such a fortuitous interview is nothing but a pleasure.

I'm taking a break from it and catching up on a couple of things on my fully-functioning laptop that's giving me no errors and my internet connection is not going down, causing me to go back inside to reset the router, something that's been happening a lot lately. I happen to have a couple of cigars left, my favorite, familiar brand, and this particular cigar is not rolled too tight or too loose, but has just the right draw. And I can smoke it without being anxious or guilty, because my long-time upstairs neighbor - he of the open windows who refused to use his A/C - moved out several days ago, and the apartment, for now, sits vacant.

My folks have a job. After eight months of heartache, frustration and challenged faith, they're relaxing today in their temporary home on Sierra Vista, Arizona, waiting for the first Monday of the job to begin. It's not a long-term job, and may only take three or four months, but it's a job, and it's a paycheck, and their relief brings me a peaceful gladness.

I've just spent three days in a row out doing things with good friends, enjoying their company and catching up on old times, and during that time I saw two amazing movies, and saw both for free thanks to free movie passes given to me back during the holidays by family members who know what makes me happy.

I'm checking Facebook and Twitter and finding out what friends (and favorite celebrities) are doing with their Sundays, and there seems to be a universal enjoyment of the day going on, and spirits are high and thankful.

My stomach isn't perfect, but it's not treating me worse than normal, and my hearts seems content to operate like it should and not distract me with its fussing.

Children are playing in the pool - happy, but not screaming. Neighbors are strolling by, in no rush to get where they're going, clearly content with the day and their lives.

I have a list of things to do with the remainder of my day, and look forward to - instead of resent - completing them, and to the feeling of accomplishment that will come with doing so.

I'm alive and well, have a life populated by amazing people who enrich it just by being in it, live in what I still consider to be the greatest state in the union (economy paling in comparison to the weather and the scenery), have a roof over my head in these troubled times, and looking ahead to a future that feels ripe with possibility and adventure instead of heavy and wearying.

Yes. I do seem to have it made here.

I hope this Sunday finds you feeling the same.